"N.Y.C. Condoms--Get Some."  I love it--how often do you catch a double entendre in a government ad campaign? It's also fantastic to see so many retailers come on board with the campaign (I have to get my hands on those Kenneth Cole boxers with the condom pocket).

I used the N.Y.C. Health Department launch as a chance to talk with my patients about condoms in general. It was a good opportunity to review what I consider the three rules of condom usage--"on in time, off in time, use all the time."

• One of the ways that condoms fail a couple is that the guy doesn't put on the condom quickly enough, before exposing his partner to any semen. Before his sword comes anywhere near you, make sure it's sheathed.

• Another way condoms won't work is if the guy remains inside of you for too long after ejaculating. I know it feels good to have him resting inside you, but as soon as he's no longer erect, the condom may spill as he pulls out (or worse, he may leave the condom behind). Wiser to do your cuddling side by side--when the condom's in the trash.

• And as obvious as it sounds, condoms don't work when they're still in the wrapper, on the dresser, in the box; non-usage of condoms with each sex act actually accounts for a lot of the difference between the "perfect use" failure rate (about 2%) and the "typical use" failure rate (about 15%).

Has anyone had to show her guy how to use a condom?