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We've been writing an advice column together for eight years now, and while we like to joke that the most common question we get from guys is "How can I safely enlarge my penis?" in actual fact, the most common question is "Why is being a nice guy such a kiss of death?" (The penis question does rank up there, though.)

Depending on how nice we're feeling ourselves, sometimes we'll just tell the guy to grow a spine and stop using "nice" as a euphemism for "dull as a sack of potatoes." But when we're in a more magnanimous mood, we'll take these nice young men by the hand and gently explain that, yes, women want to have flings or one-night stands with bad boys, but they don't want to marry them. Women fall for cocky flirts, but they fall in love with the guy who'll hold their hair back while they puke. But because the average woman will only fall in love a handful of times, while she will have more than a handful of flings or one-night stands, it just seems like the bad boys have all the luck. And now it turns out that a bunch of scientists have proved our theory to be true. We said it first, white-coats!