Photo via Splash

How could we have forgotten about Brown Bunny in our full-frontal roundup yesterday? Ewan McGregor may be "the King of Full Frontal," but Vincent Gallo is "the King of Talking About It," as he so gallantly reminds us on Page Six today. Apparently a writer from the New York Post dared to imply that Vinnie may have used a prosthetic during his infamous oral sex scene with Chloë Sevigny in 2003's otherwise forgettable Brown Bunny. But apparently Vinnie does all his own stunts, and doesn't take kindly to having his schlong's supporting role overlooked. "Tell that hack to convince his mother, sister or wife to let me give it to her...and then she can report back to little Frank if she thought [it was fake]," Gallo says. Charming.

"Why then does Scheck promote doubt about the scene's authentic nature?" Gallo goes on (and on). "I speculate it's because Mr. Scheck most likely has a very small, ugly penis and needs to believe that only in make-believe does anyone have one like mine!" Ooh, we love a good sword fight! Not to be outdone, the Post writer retorted, "Methinks Mr. Gallo doth protest too much," Scheck cracked. "That's about as much of a dick-waving match as I'm willing to get into." Hey, perhaps we spoke too soon about the distinct lack of male nude fight scenes in Hollywood. Bring it on, boys--and may the best dong win.