When it comes to Hollywood movies and pornos, we've long since lowered our expectations regarding depictions of female "ecstasy." Women throw their heads back and moan like Meg Ryan in the deli in When Harry Met Sally and, when they're masturbating, they seem to spend a lot more time squeezing their boobies than they do lavishing attention on the clitoris.

In other words, the women do the sort of things that men imagine they would do if they had a female body for a day. And it takes a boatload of suspension of disbelief to accept that they're actually getting off this way. But this video via Fleshbot (seriously NSFW) leaves all that in the dust. If it wasn't so freakin' weird, we think it might make us cry.

We can certainly understand the appeal of a dorkily cute Amsterdam boy dancing and lip-synching to Madonna in long underwear and a sweater (though would it have killed him to brush up on the lyrics a little? Geez.). But could this woman look any less into what she's doing? And seriously, how many women actually lick their own fingers like Lolita when they're rubbing one out?! Perhaps we missed a layer of meaning and this video is actually some kind of Po-Mo commentary on female sexual desire. But mostly, we just think she needs some lube and a good vibrator...and a boyfriend who's more interested in stripping for her than making love to the camera.