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Once a week we'll make you play this fun little mindfuck of a game: You have to sleep with one of the following (no whining!), so who's it gonna be and why?

  • Whoopi Goldberg: Remember that make-out scene with Whoopi and Demi in Ghost?
  • Rosie O'Donnell: She's a pain in the ass, to be sure, but we kind of loved it when she said, "We have a difference of opinion, Donald and I. He likes his women thin and silent. I like large and loud."
  • Elisabeth Hasselbeck: The conservative hottie equates the morning-after pill to abortion and thinks that "desperacy" is a real word. Thin, for sure, but silent? Not so much.


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After a break-up, do everything you can to avoid rose-colored hindsight. This may include playing that montage of fond memories over and over in the theater of your mind with the Dolby surround-sound system playing Muse or Maroon 5 on repeat. No good can come of this; you'll simply end up feeling more inadequate, lonely, and depressed. Instead, focus on your ex's faults. There must be at least one (besides their ability to live without you), even if it's just a malformed pinkie toe or a tendency to douse every meal in ketchup.
--From Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped






Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

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