Photo via Splash

All of sudden Nipplegate 2004 makes sense to us--it wasn't so much that people were offended by Janet's exposed areola; it was, rather, a public health issue. Yes, it turns out that the exposed female nipple is, plain and simple, unhygienic. At least this is the argument being made in Sweden, where a group of women calling themselves Bara Brost ("Bare Breasts" or "Just Breasts") is protesting for their right to swim topless at public pools.

A spokesperson for a leisure center in Uppsala, Sweden, gave three reasons for shutting them down: "First, there is a security aspect, then there is a hygiene issue and finally there is what we call 'prevailing manners and customs.' " We're not sure how they do things over there, but here in the States, we wouldn't exactly call it a "prevailing custom" for men to beg Swedish women to, please, hide your mammaries. Bara Brost is a sister group to North America's Topfree Equal Rights Association, whose latest battle appears to be the right to print depressing amateur soft-porn pics at Wal-Mart. People, haven't you ever heard of Polaroids? Or digital? We dread to think how many 14-year-old shelf-stackers at Wal-Mart are getting off on your right to be topless.