Runner-up this week is Marilyn Manson, who just confirmed the rumors that his mom keeps his foreskin in a jar. Apparently they're hoping to make some cash off of it in the future. But because we already knew that Manson is a big fat weirdo, he is trumped this week in the sex gross-out stakes by porn star Mary Carey, who auctioned off her breast implants on eBay to the tune of $15,269.69 in order to raise money for breast cancer research.

There are many things that confound us about this news. For one, you can't reuse implants, right? And you definitely can't fuck them (not even a titty fuck, much as it galls us to use that term). Can you even freeze them for your beer cooler?! It just seems to us like, in the world of porn, $15K should buy you a hell of a lot more than two used chicken fillets, even if you are "doing it for charity." (Which is kind of like reading Playboy for the articles, n'est-ce pas?)

In case you're unfamiliar with her oeuvre, Carey has starred in such classics as Lesbian Big Boob Bangeroo 2. She also ran for governor of California--twice--and actually garnered 11,174 votes in the 2003 election on a platform that included same-sex marriage, taxing breast implants, and a plan to remove handguns from the streets called "Porn for Pistols." 11,174?! Then again, this is the state that elected Ahnold.

Lest you think that Carey is going implant-free, she's actually just upgrading her boob job. "Now that I'm sober I wanted a new physical state to go along with my new mental state," she Carey in a statement posted on eBay at the start of the auction. So she sold off the 36D implants to make room for 36DDD replacements. (What, you hadn't heard about that 13th step?) And lest you think that this means she's pro-plastic surgery, she isn't. No, really. "I'm actually overall very anti-plastic surgery," she insisted recently. "I watched my mom go through 11 surgeries (for her injuries) and it's like, for me to voluntarily put myself through that, the only right thing to do is make money and donate it to charity."

We love the porn star moral code! That said, only 20 percent of the proceeds are going to charity, so if you apply her code strictly, she's only 20 percent anti-plastic surgery. Thank heavens for that 20 percent, though--God knows how she would have stood up straight with the implants she'd have gone for without that stance.