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There's more than just Jesus' birth to celebrate right now...

• If he yawns when you do, it just means he cares, according to the new book Sex Sleep Eat Drink Dream by Jennifer Ackerman. Even better, according to the same book: if he makes you laugh, he'll keep you slim!

• Man shrugs, gives definitive "eh" to the season's it corset. (We know they flatter everyone, but who has time to get into one of these things?)

• Men may become "unnecessary" for reproduction in the far future, just like in the Women's Studies 101 classic Herland. And we all know that "unnecessary" is just a Darwinian euphemism for "extinct." Just kidding, boys, we love ya, really. But we don't think that it'd even the dating playing field for 30-something single women if the whole reproduction thing was taken off the table.

• Fewer than 1% of married men list "I'm gay" as the reason they're not interested in sex with their wives. (In less cheery news, 38% of them say it's because she's gained weight, and 48% say "I'd do it with others but not her.")

• Speaking of weight, check out how the British press restrains itself from calling Kylie fat, instead choosing to admire how a lacy bodysuit accentuates her curves. (Too bad you have to be a freakin' breast cancer survivor to earn this kind of respect, as Jennifer Love Hewitt learned the hard way. But maybe the P-card will gain her a little slack.)

• "Girls Gone Wild" sleazebag Joe Francis is still in jail and being denied bail, making the world a safer place for drunk underage girls everywhere. (Though his prison stay is being made somewhat cushier by all the fans he's found in prison who want his autograph. Er Joe, does that tell you something?)

• Doesn't this story make you feel better about your last crappy Internet blind date? Remember, ladies, it could always be worse.

• News you can use! Turns out you're not actually supposed to kiss when you cheek-kiss. Mwah!

• Toni Morrison once said that you should write the novel you want to read. Porn fans are taking that advice to the heart (among other organs) and making the porno they want to see. We love that this is freaking out the mainstream porn industry. Anything to shake up the male-dominated, crappy-dialogue-ridden, fake-boob-infested world of porn.

• David Beckham's got "a big one," according to his wife. "It's like a tractor exhaust pipe!" she goes on. Even better, she insists, "You can see it in the advert."