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Forget Sponge-worthy--the new measure of a man is whether or not he is Facebook-worthy. Actually, if you're old enough to remember what it meant to be Sponge-worthy, then you're probably too old to be worrying about how your relationship plays out on Facebook. Oh, who are we kidding--if you're single, of course you're on Facebook. (In fact, relationship status and age have little to do with it...even Em's dad has a Facebook profile.) So anyway, apparently the "in a relationship with [link to your honey's profile here]" is the new varsity pin. And Facebook's "it's complicated" pulldown option is the new umfriend. As in, "This is Biff, my, um, friend." And, of course, all of this plays out in the new "public": your friends' news feeds. So when you absentmindedly adjust your answer to the religion field during a bout of Facebook-surfing insomnia, your friends all think you just had a Saul-on-the-road-to-Damascus moment.
We have mixed feelings on Facebook--neither Lo nor her guy are on any social networking sites, figuring that (a) like Trix, they're for kids, and (b) they're just for hooking up and nosing on exes. Whereas Em and her guy are both on it and use it for (a) nosing on exes, but mostly (b) playing Scrabulous (yes, with each other sometimes). That said, we completely agree on the following points of relationship etiquette in the age of Facebook:
1) Just because Facebook offers you the option to announce to your entire network of friends that you and this guy hooked up back in the early nineties and "it was [insert adjective]" doesn't mean you should. In fact, we'd go so far as to say that you shouldn't. That's just tacky, man. On a final note, if you decide he is Facebook-worthy and you're ready to get really serious--i.e. look-ma-no-condoms serious, a.k.a. serious as cancer...or should that be, serious as herpes--then you should know that the Sponge is back on the market and in ample supply. So bonk away! 2 CommentsLeave a comment |
In one sense, revenge sex—when you sleep with your ex's nemesis, roommate, sibling, parent, or pet in order to pay them back for dumping you--totally works: how could your ex not be grossed out / horrified / disillusioned / damaged for life? But unless your ex is a few peas short of a casserole, your cunning plan is sure to backfire, because they'll know exactly why you slept with their paste-eating dork of a sibling, and the most overwhelming emotion they will feel is deep, abiding pity for you.
--From Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped
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This is so true and I think its a bit pathetic. As a joke I once put up my status as "its complicated" with a male friend of mine, almost immediately I got questions from my girlfriends about who he was and when did we start dating.
As far as the other part - why is relationship status on facebook a defining factor for your status?!
My best friend and I have been "In a Relationship" while at the same being being "Interested in: Men" since we were roommates freshman year and joined Facebook (she has had a boyfriend for over a year and they've never been linked together on the site). It still happens sometimes where people will actually think we are lesbians. We don't care. We actually get pretty proud of ourselves when people do.