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Holy crap, life is suddenly one big after-school special! 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears has a bun in the oven! Who'd have thought that Fantasia (23), and Lily Allen (22) would seem like the wise and mature pregnant ladies? (As for Jessica Alba, who'd have thought there was still life in her womb at 26?!)

But here's our question: isn't having Britney as an older sister like the best contraceptive ever? We figured she was a walking poster child for condom use. Apparently not. If the demise of Britney can't convince the kids these days to wrap the fuck up, what hope is there?

And did Jamie Lynn really think, "When I grow up, I want to be just like Britney"? We get it that when it comes to movies like Knocked Up and Juno, abortion would have totally killed the comedy (not to mention the plot). As the good ladies of Jezebel point out, abortion isn't exactly comedy gold (trust us, we've tried). But in real life, there's not a lot that's funny about teenage pregnancy. And it's been a hell of a long time since we found anything funny about Britney. About the only good thing that seems to have come of all this news is that Lynne Spears' parenting book is on hold indefinitely. Yeah, because we really want to take parenting advice from a woman who finds out her 16-year-old is preggers and immediately thinks, "Let's sell the world exclusive to OK! magazine!"

Also, Jamie Lynn, wouldn't that OK! cover story have been a convenient time to remind teens to use condoms? But no, you went all abstinence-only on our asses and said instead, "I definitely don't think it's something you should do; it's better to wait. But I can't be judgmental because it's a position I put myself in." Um here's the thing Jamie Lynn: abstinence-only sex education doesn't do shit. And you know how we know? Because you're fucking pregnant. We give up.