Stacy Rumaker, 29, has been a bartender in New Jersey for the past four years, which we figured makes her about as qualified as anyone we know to dish on the pickup scene (as well as parking lot sex, bartender-as-wingperson, and what your bartender is really saying about you behind your back).

E&L: What kind of bar do you work in?

SR: It's the kind of place where the average joe comes in at happy hour after work, and at night the younger crowd comes out. It's a pretty laid back place, no frills. I love it.

E&L: Do you get hit on by pretty much every guy who comes in?  

SR: Not every guy, but I do get hit on at least once a night. I'm pretty flirtatious, but I'm also very controlling behind the bar. I try to keep things professional but friendly. Also, you know who you can safely flirt with and who to keep it strictly business with.

E&L: What lines do they try and use on you?

SR: Because our bar is open until 3:00 a.m., a lot of guys will ask to take me to the diner. I think it's a Jersey thing. Or, when I give them their check they ask if it has my number on it. I always try to joke my way out of it, if a guy has enough balls to hit on me, and not be a dick about it; I don't want to make him feel bad, or never come back. Flirters are usually good tippers. The best is when a guy hits on me, but has left a shitty tip.

E&L: What's the worst way to pick up a bartender?

SR: Hmmm...don't be too aggressive. I am working, and it's not as if I can escape as if I were a customer. Don't use lines or try to be slick. A lot of guys are either bad at reading body language or simply don't care. But paying attention to a person's vibe is crucial to knowing whether they are interested.

E&L: So what's the best way?
 
SR: The best way to really get a bartender is to keep coming back and become a regular. Getting a chance to know me shows that I'm worth the effort, that you are not looking for a one-night stand. If you are looking for a one-night stand, just be charming as hell and leave a big tip. Does that sound like prostitution? Ah, whatever.

E&L: Have you ever gone on a date or gone home with a customer?

SR: Yes. However, my story is a bit different. He is my boss's son, and I got to know him for about two years before we hooked up. There's nothing like working up a foam for a guy for two years before you finally get him. Talk about foreplay. And we are still together two years later. However, I would not recommend trying to find true love in a bar. It does happen, but mainly just hook-ups and one-night stands occur. And for the love of God, if you do hook up with someone in my bar, don't have sex in the parking lot.

E&L: Do people who hook up in your bar have sex in the parking lot often?!

SR: Yes, the bartender I work with and I will play a game: guess how many steamed up cars are in the parking lot. 

E&L: What's the last conversation you had with a co-worker?

SR: My co-workers and I tend to talk about sex and gossip about our customers. They give us lots to talk about.

E&L: What kind of gossip? Like, who's hitting on whom, who's striking out?

SR: There is so much drama going on in the bar, and people open up to us. There is gossip ranging from who's doing who, but more often than that it's about their families, their careers, etc.
 
E&L: Is bartending good or bad for your dating life?

SR: From my experience, it hasn't been a bad thing. However, I think that bartenders are in a unique situation. Working at a bar may sometimes feel less like work, and more like being the master of ceremonies. There are a lot of crazy things that happen at bars, and there is a different kind of morality. I have seen husbands come in with wives and their children for dinner one night, and then see the same husband sucking face with some ho bag the next night. And you have a code of silence. You just smile and nod. You see people at their worst, and you can get caught up in that. You need to keep yourself at a distance, and remember that these people are your customers, and not your friends. However, for the male bartenders, every night is like a pussy buffet--many times the guys have more than one chick vying for their attention.

E&L: So what about your sex life, is bartending good or bad for that?

SR: If you are a single bartender and looking to get lucky, you pretty much can have the time of your life. As far as being in a relationship, it hasn't hurt.

E&L: What has bartending taught you about relationships and sex?
 
SR: A lot. You truly get to see a cross section of relationships, you get the inside scoop on couples and their drama. The biggest thing that it has taught me is to appreciate the relationship I have, and its lack of drama. I've also learned that I am so happy to not be single. The bar scene is brutal.

E&L: Do you think it's true that everyone seems hotter and more interesting when they're serving behind a bar?

SR: Yes. I think it's the power the bartender has. I definitely feel sexier behind the bar, and I think that shows.

E&L: Can you tell who at a bar is going to hook up?

SR: You can usually tell, especially if the people are regulars and you know that they're sluts. However, if it is going to happen, I know one thing: it starts with shots.
 
E&L: Is it totally cheesy to send someone drinks?

SR: No. However, I don't recommend buying someone a drink unless there is some eye contact or some other sign that there is some interest. And if you do buy someone a drink, don't approach them. You made your move, now the ball is in their court. This is especially true for the men. If you buy her a drink and she likes you, she will approach you. A lot of women accept drinks because they feel it's rude to turn it down. So don't make her even more uncomfortable by approaching her. Let her come to you. And if this is someone you are really interested in, don't hit on other women in front of her. A lot of guys have this philosophy of knocking on every door until someone answers, if you know what I mean.

E&L: Do you ever play wingwoman for your regulars to help them get laid or get a date?

SR: Absolutely. I will tell guys and girls who to avoid, but I will also play wingman. For example, if a guy sends over a drink to a girl, I'll tell her, "Oh, this is from so and so, he's a really nice guy." I have also been known to be a cock blocker. If a guy is bothering a girl I'll try to come to her rescue by interrupting the conversation. I'm such a bitch, but I love deflating an asshole's ego.

E&L: What's your opinion on drunk-dialing?

SR: Never a good idea. But it is so much fun watching someone do it.

E&L: Can you tell a lot about someone by what drink they order?  

SR: Absolutely. Not only by what they drink, but how they order it. Let's say they order a gin and tonic. A simple, low-maintenance drink. However, if they want it with three ice cubes, two lime wedges, and rim it with sugar, then you know this person is high maintenance. Also, guys who take a long time to order drinks are wishy-washy, and don't know what they want. Your best bet for a pleasant experience at a bar is to keep it simple, and if you do order something complicated--like a frozen margarita at last call!--leave a good tip. It shows that you know I had to put in some extra effort with you, and that you appreciate it.

E&L: When's the last time you were truly embarrassed?

SR: I know this sounds like a cop-out, but I am such a goof ball that I don't really get embarrassed. The other night behind the bar I did an impression of Britney Spears, complete with pigtails and my shirt tied up, exposing my rolls. The older I get, the less I give a shit about what people think. 

E&L: When's the last time you had sex, and how was it?

SR: About an hour ago, and it was amazing.