This Slow Jerk video just made our week, and what's genius about it is that you'll probably find it hilarious whether you think that pretending to jerk off to signal boredom is the height of comedy or the depths of juvenility. Also, maybe you'll find it a tiny bit hot, too. (No? That's just us? Come on, a dude who looks a little bit like Titanic-era Leo making sexy eyes and pretending to rub one out?! It almost makes up for that disturbing faux blowjob scene in The Bad Lieutenant that we happened to catch on TV this past weekend.)

Either way, the lines "Dude, that's not how you do it, you do it real fast and then you stop" and "You never make them touch man, that's not cool," pretty much sum up everything that we think is wrong with Internet porn, overgrown frat boys, and faux masturbation gestures in the workplace.