Photo by Siege

We first met Grant Stoddard almost a decade ago when he came to intern at Nerve.com, where we were both editors. Actually, we first "met" Grant Stoddard shortly before that, in Lisa Carver's weekly sex diary, which was published on Nerve.com--Grant won a trivia competition hosted by Lisa, and the prize was sex with Lisa. We did our best not to dwell on this while we interviewed Grant for the intern position.

Grant went on to write Nerve's infamous I Did It for Science column, which meant that we got to chime in during the weekly editorial meetings about which foreign object he should be "encouraged" to stick up his butt next (among other sexual guinea pig tasks).

Fortunately Grant managed to turn this career path into a hilarious and brilliant book (we're guessing it was either that or therapy): Working Stiff: The Misadventures of an Accidental Sexpert. Grant is also a rockstar, a karaoke god, and the prettiest boy in drag we've ever had the pleasure to make-over. All of which makes him uniquely qualified to be the, er, maiden participant in The Bedpost Interview. Think of it as our version of those Amex ads, just without the air miles. After the jump, Grant discusses masturbation during the work day, bum sex etiquette, and the first floor bathroom of the Guggenheim.

Is sex like pizza, even when it's bad it's good?

No it's not. Only non-New Yorkers think that shitty pizza has redeeming qualities. It's the scarcity principal. I think in a place where you've good an abundance of choice, anything that isn't stellar is bad and not worth bothering with. Do you know anyone from New York who'd stoop to eating pizza from Dominos? [Ed: Um, yeah: Em.] It's the same with getting action.

How does your work affect your sex life?

I work at home so masturbation has a highly disruptive effect on my productivity and is a clear and present danger, always.

Craziest place you've ever had sex?

On a plane to Rio in our coach seats/in the first floor bathroom of the Guggenheim/at an outdoor swimming pool in Ibiza/changing room at the Gap.

Most underrated erogenous zone?

Poughkeepsie.

Favorite on-screen sex scene?

Both sex scenes in A History of Violence. The first is nice, the second nasty.

Desert island sex toy?

"Desert Island" and "sex toy" together sounds grittily uncomfortable.

Best sex advice you've ever given or received?

Never use the "oops" approach when introducing the idea of bum sex. This approach will only insure that you'll never be invited back PLUS a bad lingering memory of hastily introduced sodomy means that the rest of us have to use ALL our powers of persuasion to win back hearts and minds.

Dead historical person you'd have sex with if you could (alive, of course)?

Cleopatra; even though it didn't bode particularly well for Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony.

Least sexy "sex symbol"?

Angelina Jolie; though I can't really put my finger on why.

Rate the following in order of importance, from greatest to least: sex, love, money, fame, chocolate, Facebook.

You've already put it in precisely the right order. Maybe friendship would top that list.