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02.29.2008  BY EM & LO

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A weekly roundup of our favorite sex-related musings on the web:

Em & Lo ask if the call of sleep, chocolate, or Facebook have ever been more seductive than the deed.; alcohol; chocolate; em & lo; Facebook; impertinent question; myspace; sex; Em & Lo ask if the call if sleep, chocolate, or Facebook have ever been more seductive than the deed.

The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #121? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

This Week's Picks
The Ache of Desire Unsatisfied
"J groaned in my ear, and I nearly pulled down his zipper then and there."

"Tingles of electricity were set coursing up and down that side of my body."

Part(y)ing shots
"I placed both my hands on the tiled wall in front of me, clammy and cold, holding myself up."

Mr. Sugasm Himself
The "Best way to make him felt hot"

Editor's Choice
Who Is A Sex Worker?

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

funfactory_shape.jpg's "Shape" toy. 

Dear Em & Lo,

My boyfriend, after much poking and prodding (figuratively and literally), has finally agreed to let me try a strap-on on him. But he's less than enthusiastic. Any suggestions, as far as position, hardware, etc., that might make things a little easier on him?



First, in 1998, before the term blogging existed, a website was created to collect anonymous first time tales: they got 40,000 and started working on a play based on the best stories. Last spring, there was The Virginity Project, created by Londoner Kate Monro: an ongoing web collection of thoughtful stories about first times from Brits and others abroad. Then that first project finally made it to off-Broadway last summer: the ongoing play My First Time was described by Newsday as "80-minutes of titilation." Now, there's another virginity project in the works, unsurprisingly called The Virgin Project: a forthcoming collection of comics based on real-life tales about cashing in the V-card. (Cool idea but the illustrations are sub-par, no?)

This new project, highlighted in slideshow form on MSNBC, reminded us to check back in with the first "Virginity Project," and lo and behold we found a post this very day linking to an advice column we did called "How to deflower a nice young man in 14 steps." But not before finding another related story on MSNBC by Brian Alexander about born-again virginity making a comeback. Finally, all this virginity talk reminded us how we've never figured out why virginity is still defined strictly in terms of penile penetration (as we admitted to Slate last fall). It's one big circle of (sex) life. 

After the jump, a list of the crazy ideas mentioned in the born-again virginity story that really piss us off:

02.28.2008  BY DR. KATE
Freudian theory of the vaginal orgasm, meet modern technology. As Em & Lo mentioned this week, a new study has come out of Italy that attempts to locate the elusive G-spot. Nine women who report having vaginal orgasms (defined as coming without clitoral stimulation) were compared, using vaginal ultrasounds, with eleven women who don't.  Researchers found that women with vaginal orgasms have thicker tissue on the top wall of the vagina below the bladder, where the G-spot is rumored to reside.  

I can agree with some of the conclusions of the study--women are anatomically different from one another, inside as well as outside. In addition, we shouldn't let the pharmaceutical industry talk us into using drugs to treat any supposed sexual dysfunction. I'm also thrilled to see any research conducted in the area of female sexuality; there's still so much to learn about what makes us tick (and what makes us go off).

02.28.2008  BY EM & LO

It's been a week since National Condom Week ended, but there's no reason every week can't be National Condom Week. (Wow, four "weeks" in one sentence must be some kind of record.) And so we give you Proper Attire condoms with the clever tagline "Required for entry."

New this season, they were designed to be stylish, with funky and tasteful packaging, in order to help women feel more comfortable about buying and carrying condoms. (Though "Condom packaging is too tacky" is a piss-poor excuse not to buy and carry your own condoms.) They're no David Beckham condoms (sure to help you score in the bedroom!), but Proper Attire proceeds for all four styles (basic, XL, textured and color) go to Planned Parenthood Federation of America, which is the best thing a condom can do, right after protecting you from unplanned pregnancy and STDs.

Unfortunately, we haven't found them online anywhere, but you can get them at select Planned Parenthood health centers (hey, you're probably due for some STD tests anyway), as well as Wink (155 Spring Street, NYC) and the W Hotel Store (541 Lexington Avenue and 1567 Broadway in NYC). Get a condom compact, and you'll be the most stylish fucker around. 


Us with Carol at Good Vibrations in San Francisco during our first book tour in 2003. 

As a teenager, Carol Queen talked about sex and had it whenever possible. As a college student, she appeared on LGBT panels in health classes, and then worked as an AIDS educator. It was this work that made her turn pro: "Knowing that a career in sex ed and sex advocacy truly meant life-or-death change was all the nudge I needed." So she moved to San Francisco, got a doctorate in sexology, worked at The Lusty Lady and then Good Vibrations (where she's currently the staff sexologist), and generally immersed herself in the sexual communities as much as possible.

She's written and edited a mountain of sex/erotic books, including Exhibitionism for the Shy (which she's currently updating for a reprint) and her latest, More 5 Minute Erotica, to say nothing of her explicit educational videos (surely you've heard of Bend-Over-Boyfriend). She's on the board of the Woodhull Freedom Foundation, which advances sexual freedom as a fundamental human right. Oh, and she co-founded the Center for Sex & Culture in San Francisco, which holds events like the upcoming "Personal Thinking Patterns and Sex: The Awakened Mindfuck with Heron Saline" and "Advanced Nude Yogaplay for Men" (and is made possible by supporters like you, hint hint). Carol is the nicest and most knowledgeable sex freak you'll ever meet! 

Em & Lo: What did you want to be when you grew up?

Carol Queen: When I was a kid I wanted to be an archaeologist, then a writer (which I am, but it took me a while to figure out sex was what I wanted to write about), and just before I gave myself to sexology, I was hot to do historic preservation architecture.

Is sex like pizza, even when it's bad it's good? Why or why not?

Bad sex is better than bad pizza in at least one respect: it's educational. 

How does your work affect your sex life?

02.27.2008  BY EM & LO

Just two weeks ago a federal appeals court struck down the old-fashioned law that made it illegal for Texans to sell (and thus buy) sex toys for sexual purposes (as opposed to, say, medical instruction). You also weren't allowed to own more than six devices, because such a collection would be considered promotion--so you were screwed (or would that be weren't screwed?) if you just happened to like a vibrator on a Monday, a dildo on a Tuesday, a G-spotter on a Wed, and so on...


Photo via 

WARNING: this innocent-seeming Women's Health quiz on deciphering sex toys from real household objects sets you up for failure--kind of like those carnival games you can't win. The whole point of undercover toys is that they look exactly like real household items, so in order to do well here you'd need to know every shape a sex toy manufacturer had mimicked. They should have called it a guessing game, not a quiz.

Spoiler alert: we found a pair of real leg cuffs at JT's Stockroom that look exactly like the handcuff necklace they're calling a household item, and the massage oil candle in the silver gravy boat looks exactly like this real gravy boat. Bastards! Of course, we could just be bitter that we wrote an entire book on sex toys and only scored a "Mediocre" on this quiz.

Well, we've given you two answers, so see if you can't put us to shame on this fun little "quiz." But if you want a better sex toy quiz (if we do say so ourselves) in which you can actually use your skills of deduction, play our "Sex Toy or Dog Toy" game.  

Ask Em & Lo
In need of some sex-related advice?
Email [email protected].

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Got a sexual health question?
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Do Before You Die
Office sex, public sex, group sex -- tell us
what you'd like to try someday at
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A Day in the Life...
Got a job or hobby that gives you a unique
perspective on sex and dating?
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Sex Dream Analysis
Get your nocturnal fantasies expertly
analyzed at [email protected].

Anonymity always honored!

[Body By Glamour ad]

Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City.

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