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I saw five patients in my practice last week who told me they had painful sex. Not all the time, and not with every partner, but they had all had some degree of pain during sex recently. And, to a woman, they all blamed themselves--"I couldn't relax enough" or "I don't know what's wrong with me." One woman wanted to know if her husband should just "push through" her pain to fix the problem. It pains me to think of my patients enduring pain during what should be at least a pleasant (and hopefully fantastic) experience with the guys they adore.
I've written about vulvodynia before, but it bears repeating that pain during sex is NOT a phobia, and doesn't mean you're "frigid" (a retro sexist construct). So I was glad that the article last week in the New York Times reported the latest thinking and research on vulvodynia. Most importantly, I want my patients (and you guys) to know that painful sex is not normal, and should not be ignored. We're still trying to figure out exactly what's going wrong when the vulva interprets simple touch as pain. But we know some therapies that work for many women...so if you're feeling bad about how sex feels, please talk to your gyno (or write to me). Have you ever had pain with sex? What did you do about it? 7 CommentsLeave a comment |
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It is also possible that pain during sex can come from Hymenal Tags, as is the case now and again with my wife. It's not a constant, but certain angles can cause discomfort/pain that lasts for a second or so.
Hello. Towards the end of her first (and only) pregnancy and since her elective cesarean 6 months ago, my wife has been experiencing a burning sensation during penetration. We've tried loading on the KY, tried giving her an orgasm first, and she's definitely "up for it", but she says it just kind of hurts from the moment I enter until after she pees and takes a shower. Before pregnancy, she never liked having her G-spot stimulated because it gave her a similar sensation, but now it seems like it's her whole vagina. Any ideas what the problem could be exactly?
Matt,
Go to a Gyno'. Getting medical advice over the internet is never advised.
Well, Dr. Kate IS a gyno and a professor, so I'm sure she could impart some credible info to Matt (plus I'm pretty sure she'd probably tell him to get his wife over to a gyno, too).
Matt, it's a tough question. Your wife's gyno can evaluate her for the easy reasons (like vaginitis), but it may be vulvodynia--and we don't know exactly what causes that. In the end, what matters most is giving her relief from pain--her doctor can talk with her about both topical remedies and oral meds that may help.
I had this and after literally seven doctors saying it was in my head or I was sexually abused treated it with a low dose of anti depressents. I am happy to say I am sexually active and do not experience that awful pain anymore. It is still there and I could probobly go on for a few more months, I get the point of sex. Horray! I find it fascinating though in my healing travels that so many doctors don't know about this problem. One doctor was convinced that i had a rare form of hpv and treated me with interferon which as I understood is a drug used to strenghten your immune system. The only thing it did was make me thin and weak. Thanks Dr. Kate for keeping this conversation going. The more people and especially Doctors know about it, the less patients will be doubting themselves.
I'm so glad you finally found relief, C. If you ever want to read more on the subject, check out the Vulvodynia Survival Guide by Howard Glazer (though ignore the parts on interferon...).