Hope you had the day off yesterday, as we did! We spent it honoring the memory of great presidents from our country's past by considering their fuckability. Tacky, we know. (And sadly, it's the most we've thought about our country's best presidents ON Presidents Day since elementary school.) Still, we're compelled to ask: of those presidents carved into Mt. Rushmore, who would you mount?

George Washington
Pros: Would never lie to you just to get into your pants. 
Cons: His false teeth might fall out when he tries to bite you in the heat of passion. "Who's your founding father?" just doesn't have the same ring to it as "Who's your daddy?" Plus, he's a redhead. 

Abraham Lincoln: 
Pros: Considering his height, he's probably well-endowed; eloquent speech maker usually means eloquent dirty talker; might be secretly gay and fabulous. 
Cons: That beard. 

Thomas Jefferson
Pros: Would woo you with great food and wine; as an architect and inventor, he could probably come up with some cool early-American sex toys; might nickname his hands "Louis" and "Clark" and send them out on an expedition to explore your "Louisiana Purchase." 
Cons: A bit of sexual hypocrite, considering he spoke against "the amalgamation of whites with blacks" and then fathered several children with his slave, Sally Hemings. Plus, he's got a lisp.

Teddy Roosevelt
Pros: Likes to skinny dip in the Potomac; is in great shape; would probably speak softly and ravage you with his big stick.
Cons: The whole white supremecy thing would kinda ruin it.


Michelle said:

Always had a crush on Jefferson - even with the Sally Hennings business. Erm, I am a black woman, maybe this is telling me something.

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