We have to say, the "Top 5 Best Things About Being in a Relationship" in the New York Post this week didn't exactly make us feel like doing backflips because we're shacked up. In fact, the list made couplehood sound about as sexy as life insurance. An "emergency contact" name for hospital forms? A permanent dog sitter?! Where's the neck-biting, hair-pulling, throw-you-against-the-wall sex? So we decided to make up our own yay-relationships list, this time all about sex. (And before any single people start a letter-writing campaign, your list is coming tomorrow!)

1. You can tie each other up and not worry whether your partner will steal all your stuff while you're rendered helpless.

2. You can get tested together and then go condom-free!

3. Your partner doesn't need a GPS system to find their way around your own personal erogenous zones.

4. You can have soul-melding, face-holding, teary-eyed missionary sex--try doing that with a booty call. It's makin' love like in those R&B ballads (just don't call it "makin' love" if we're in earshot, please).

5. You can break out the strap-on and/or get busy in the backdoor. (Okay, so we know that some of you do this with your booty call or on one-night stands, but most people need to get in the comfort zone of an LTR first.)

6. You can call each other names in bed that would make a pornstar blush without worrying whether you'll be considered "girlfriend material" in the morning.

7. You can babytalk, if that's your thing.

8. You can take nudie pics of each other without worrying whether they'll end up on the Internet. (Okay, so maybe this is only if you've taken each other to have and to hold...and even then, you better hope it doesn't end in a bitter divorce.)

9. You can spank each other without having to ask first because you know each other well enough to know that tonight's a good night for spanking.

10. You can have a quickie in the hallway before a night on the town.

And one more for good measure: You can stop pretending that 69s are actually fun.