Does this mean men will maybe get to stop apologizing? Because I think that will be the greatest of all outcomes of this study, which says the optimal amount of time for penetrative intercourse ranges between seven and thirteen minutes. They're not measuring the entire time you're in bed (or up against the wall or in the back seat or on the elevator) but the entire time the penis is in the vagina (this is a very hetero-centric study, here).

Almost, if not every, partner-with-a-penis I've ever had has felt bad about the amount of time he was able to last. Almost every last one of them, from the guy who pumped a couple of times and collapsed on top of me, to the guy who lasted exactly the right length of time according to all the nerve endings in my body, to the guy who went and went and went, uninspired plowing that lasted an eternity and had me wondering what, exactly, he was thinking about up there, down there, back there, over there. They all apologized for not being able to last longer--even if I had come half a dozen times, even if I was supremely satisfied, even I was sore and tired and very, very okay with being done now, thanks, can we roll over?--they apologized, because they were not the super studs they were supposed to be.

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