Some bloggers were in a tizzy over the "Butt Facial" yesterday, a treatment apparently performed by Renée Zellweger and Ali Larter's Beverly Hills derm of choice, Dr. Harold Lancer. The oh-so-controversial subject was first reported by teen site Elle Girl, then picked up by Jezebel, who chastised the site for running a story better suited for the more developed (and therefore less impressionable!?) readers of the senior Elle. Fox News lopped the ass facial in with other "Top 7 Weird Spa Treatments" including the caviar pedicure (What's so weird about that? I had one yesterday!?), and Daily Candy wrote a cheeky (get it!?!) little review saucily called, "Booty is in the Eye of the Beholder."

Now of course, we've all heard of the Bacne Facial, and sure, we'll even concede that in a weird way, in a world where we had nothing but time and money to traipse from spa to spa getting fish eggs slathered on our feet here, butt zits popped there, this treatment makes sense. Still, my sharp investigative journalism skills went into red alert mode, so I did what any beauty reporter worth her salt would do: I called Dr. Harold Lancer.

Actually, I didn't get Dr. Lancer on the phone immediately. Instead, I spoke with a number of secretaries who kept asking me to repeat the phrase "butt facial," since I kept tripping over the words and was trying to keep my voice down so my boyfriend wouldn't overhear and make fun of me. I insisted that I was some kind of important person that demanded an explanation, and one embarrassed young miss finally assured me the doctor would be with me, eventually.

Finally, one Dee Bartolo, top aesthetician, returned my call, and gleefully alerted me to the fact that "Fanny Facials" have been being performed for ages.

"Really, I must have been absent from skincare school all those years!?"

Then she laughed and explained that since she was British, she hated referring to them as "Fanny Facials," since in England, the fanny refers to a woman's privates and not her arse, but I digress...

Dee was actually pretty cool to chat with and explained all the ins and outs (ha) of the $300 treatment they like to call "Bottom's Up," which is used to treat the host of problems that can go so wrong down there, such as breakouts and of course, cellulite. Each treatment is tailor-made on an ass-by-ass basis, but jokes aside, this is a pretty serious endeavor: Besides lymphatic drainage and medical-grade microdermabrasion, one of several equally intense masks is applied and treated under an infrared lamp to aid, um, penetration. Clearly, I am not mature enough to handle writing a more earnest explanation of butt facials, but my ass is more than ready for one, especially now that it's bikini season!!! WHOO HOO!

Interested? Contact the medi-spa at 310.278.8444. Tell 'em Erin sent ya and say "hi" to Renée while you're in the waiting room!