04.14.2008  BY EM & LO

A few years ago we were on a panel about sex writers with our recent Bedpost Interviewee, Tristan Taormino, where she said she never writes about anything she's never tried herself. (We, of course, don't hold ourselves to the same high journalistic standards.) Well, she's got a new book coming out called Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships -- so you know she's probably got a pretty good idea from first-hand experience of what works and what doesn't. (Unlike us, who just like to point and oooh and aaaah at the rarely seen beast that is the successful long-term open relationship, and who then get spanked by seasoned practitioners for such un-evolved behavior.)

To preempt the book's publication, Taormino's just launched the new community site, OpeningUp.net:

Author and Village Voice columnist Tristan Taormino has launched a brand new website in anticipation of the release of her new book May 1. OpeningUp.net is a website for people interested in open relationships of all kinds, including monogamy with benefits, nonmonogamy, partnered nonmonogamy, swigning, polyamory, polyfidelity, solo polyamory, mixed orientation marriages, and other relationships styles beyond monogamy. It features a blog, an extensive resource guide, message boards, and the Open List, a list of professionals (therapists, social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, consultants, relationship and life coaches, doctors, lawyers, etc.) who are experienced and knowledgeable about alternative sexuality, lifestyles, and relationships.

While we feign awe in the presence of the open relationship, we actually appreciate the honesty and forthrightness it requires. It certainly beats the lying and cheating so common in many long-term supposedly monogamous relationships. So if traditional monogamy is just not working out for you, avoid Ashley Madison all together and get thee to Tristan Taormino instead.


Colin said:

Oh yeah? What else have you two written about that you haven't tried yourselves??

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In one sense, revenge sex—when you sleep with your ex's nemesis, roommate, sibling, parent, or pet in order to pay them back for dumping you--totally works: how could your ex not be grossed out / horrified / disillusioned / damaged for life? But unless your ex is a few peas short of a casserole, your cunning plan is sure to backfire, because they'll know exactly why you slept with their paste-eating dork of a sibling, and the most overwhelming emotion they will feel is deep, abiding pity for you.
--From Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped

Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City.

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