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![]() So yesterday we gave you our top ten sex-drenched reasons to be in a relationship, from spanking to strap-ons. But, let's be honest here, spring fever is in the air, which means it's a pretty fucking good time to be single. Just in case you need reminding, here are ten good reasons why... 1. If you'd rather masturbate than have sex, you don't have to explain yourself--you can just stay home. (And you don't have to reassure a partner that you like him just as much as your Rabbit.) 2. You can do anything you like during sex without having someone say, disapprovingly, "That's not like you." 3. You can sleep with someone just because they're hot and kick them out of bed before you run out of things to talk about. 4. It's a beautiful day for a walk and your dog is a flirtation device. 5. You'll never have to overhear your sex partner cutting their toenails in the next room. Let's hear it for a little mystery. 6. You can sleep with your suddenly-hot ex. 7. You'll never see anyone's "Oh crap everything else is at the laundry" underwear. 8. Yay, booty calls! 9. Two words: first kiss. 10. You still actually enjoy 69s. 1 CommentsLeave a comment |
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After a break-up, do everything you can to avoid rose-colored hindsight. This may include playing that montage of fond memories over and over in the theater of your mind with the Dolby surround-sound system playing Muse or Maroon 5 on repeat. No good can come of this; you'll simply end up feeling more inadequate, lonely, and depressed. Instead, focus on your ex's faults. There must be at least one (besides their ability to live without you), even if it's just a malformed pinkie toe or a tendency to douse every meal in ketchup.
--From Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped
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