That Hannibal story was just plain gross; this Austrian one is just sad. And it raises so many questions: How could the wife not have known? Did he have accomplices to help him install the security system? Don't kids need sunlight to grow properly? And the most infuriating question of all: Why is he only facing 15 freaking years in prison?!? When you consider the number of people in the world, you can almost understand how once in a while a human will come along who is so tweaked in the head that he could commit such heinous crimes against his own daughter, but we just can't understand how a civilized society could respond to that crime with such a measly punishment. How about solitary confinement in a shoebox, save for some regular rough anal cavity searches, for the rest of his life?

Let's just check out who Splendora thinks has been extra foxy lately so we don't have to think about horrible stuff like this.