The whole point of writing a sex manual is to spread the love, as it were. Well, we'd like to spread it a little thicker, which is why we're holding the "SEX: How to Do Everything" Haiku Contest. Send us a haiku about a sex manual, sex manuals in general, or our most recent sex manual, SEX, and you could win one of five free copies of our beautiful, golden hardcover yourself. So get your creative juices flowing and start counting syllables! Just be sure to review our contest terms and conditions first:

• Haiku entries will be judged on how much they make us laugh.

• You can enter as many times as you'd like, but you can't win more than one copy (even if more than one of your haikus is deemed sheer genius).

• People we know who enter will not receive special consideration--it's all about the quality of the haiku, not the compliments you give us or the bribes you send us.

• Haikus that don't follow the 5-7-5 syllable rule will not be eligible to win (though we may still appreciate their beauty and/or hilarity).

• Deadline for entries is June 19th. The five winners and who-knows-how-many honorable mentions (who will receive fame and glory but no hard copies) will be announced within a week after that.
  

• Please include your mailing address with your entry (sorry, those outside of the United States and the U.K. are not eligible to win, unless you want to pay for your own shipping, but then you might as well just buy the book at your friendly neighborhood bookstore).