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In a moment of judicial clarity, California's State Supreme Court legalized gay marriage yesterday. Yay for human rights! But it won't be long (November to be exact) until social conservatives will put a constitutional amendment to undo all this good on the ballot. Here's five reasons why the anti-gay conservatives should get on the love train:

1. All the money spent on fabulous gay weddings will drive this sluggish economy.
2. When gays marry, they'll move to new communities, buy houses, and settle down -- which has actually been shown to increase property values.
3. More traditional weddings will mean church attendance will be up -- even atheists will go to church for a wedding!
4. When you get married and have kids, you tend to leave your feel-good liberal values behind for more conservative ones relating to taxes, crime and kids ("Child molesters should wear blinking collars after having their genitals surgically removed!").
5. And, of course, if you don't want people having gay sex, then let them get married: they'll eventually never have sex again.


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After a break-up, do everything you can to avoid rose-colored hindsight. This may include playing that montage of fond memories over and over in the theater of your mind with the Dolby surround-sound system playing Muse or Maroon 5 on repeat. No good can come of this; you'll simply end up feeling more inadequate, lonely, and depressed. Instead, focus on your ex's faults. There must be at least one (besides their ability to live without you), even if it's just a malformed pinkie toe or a tendency to douse every meal in ketchup.
--From Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped






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