Even the cleverest of my patients sometimes don't understand their own bodies. When I asked 25-year-old L. if she had any problems with sex, she shrugged. "Sex hurts most of the time," she told me. "And my boyfriend says that I'm really small down there. Do you think I'm too small for sex?"

She's not the first patient I've seen who has posed this question to me. Some women are born anatomically different--in rare cases, you can have "two vaginas," a really short one, or no vagina at all. But if you've had a pelvic exam, and your gyno hasn't said anything, it means you're normal.

And "normal" means you're just fine for sex. Your vagina was designed to deliver a seven-pound squirming bundle of life into the world...she can certainly accomodate your boyfriend (or toy), no matter how well-endowed he (it) is. But it doesn't mean you don't need to get in the mood first.

Feeling "too small" may mean that you're not yet aroused enough to enjoy penetration. For sex to be fun for both of you, a little attention is required. Once you're truly turned on, your vagina engorges with blood, and actually becomes a bit wider and deeper. And make sure that you aren't concerned about anything else--worries about STDs or pregnancy or safety can make your vagina clench in self-protection (of your body or your heart).

To be clear, as I've said frequently, pain during sex is not okay. Try different positions, or a bit more foreplay. And stay tuned for my post next week on the most common causes of discomfort during intercourse...the size of your vagina isn't one of them.

Has anyone else ever felt too small for sex?