In honor of Mother's Day this Sunday--there's a reminder for you; you're welcome--we thought we'd give you our top ten sex tips that could have come from your mom. Almost.

1. Always keep your fingernails clean and well-trimmed...especially if you're planning on any handwork or sticking a pinkie where the sun don't shine.

2. If he's not the kind of man you could introduce to your mother, are you sure you trust him enough to let him tie you up?

3. Eat your Wheaties. Because a high-fiber diet will help keep things clean and tidy back there, which will make you more comfortable having all your various nooks and crannies explored.

4. If you don't have anything nice to say after sex, then don't say anything at all.

5. When I was your age, we cared about good spelling and grammar, even in lust letters...

6. You're beautiful and smart and witty and you deserve better than that douchebag.

7. The golden rule of reciprocation applies to both oral sex and massage. But only in the case of massage can you actually demand your turn.

8. Never answer call-waiting during phone sex--that's just plain rude.

9. Sex is always better with a little love (or something like it) in the mix.

10. Always wear clean underwear, 'cause you never know.