06.04.2008  BY EM & LO
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One of the most common advice questions we get asked by men is, "Why do women always go for the bad boys?"--or its close cousin, "How can a nice guy like me get laid?" And something we always say in response is that there's a difference between being nice and having a spine made of Jell-o. In other words, nice guys do get laid. But doormats? Not so much. Also, we tell those nice boys that a woman will sleep with many, many bad boys in her lifetime, but it's the nice guys that get the girl in the end. Not that this is much consolation to a nice guy who just wants to get laid, of course. Hey, what can we say--sometimes women are idiots. But our friend (and former Nerve.com colleague) Susan Dominus is no idiot, and we love-love-love her essay in Men's Health in praise of the quiet guy--and in particular, in praise of her quiet-guy husband (we've met him and he's just as all-that as she says he is)....

"I love his coiled energy," she writes, "especially now that I've seen what happens when he lets it go. Some people love to watch their loved one sleep; I love to watch my loved one run for the subway, when this ordinarily understated human being brazenly shows off a graceful athleticism that typically only I get to see, a secret privilege other women might not even know to envy. Some people find a quiet man unsettling; I find mine a pleasurable challenge." You hear that, Steve Santagati? Not all bad boys finish first.


3 Comments

Marissa said:

There are also a lot of guys who merely *think* they are nice guys...because they begrudgingly do things for women in order to get on the woman's good side...and then they complain when they don't get laid. Not "nice".

I firmly believe that the truly nice guys do get the girl, the truly nice guys don't just want to get laid either.

good article:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/68913_niceguy03.shtml

Nice Guy said:

I'm a nice guy who married the girl all my friends wanted. I woo. It's really the very best way to marry a girl. Those girls who aren't into it aren't usually looking for marriage, though. And the fact is, those guys who woo (as opposed to "seduce") are usually the type who want a girl who hasn't had a lot of partners, and who are the marrying type. So when you hear about guys having a double standard about girls who've slept around, there's more to it than that. If you're looking for a guy who will treat you right long term, you may have to watch your morals... because he does.

devlin said:

"If you're looking for a guy who will treat you right long term, you may have to watch your morals... because he does."

It's very hard for me to think of this as anything else but extremely stupid and sexist. If you think you're a nice guy, you're really pretty dense I would have to say.

A nice guy loves a girl, period, and doesn't attach any value to it. It seems that you've been doing just that, attaching perceived value to your relationships in accordance with "trophy girl" or "worthwhile girl". The reality is, we're all just people and you're doing yourself and everyone else a disservice by trying to mold people into square blocks and round blocks and making them fit into your nice little holes.

That is the whole freaking point of this article, which I believe you totally missed. In addition, I don't think it would be unreasonable for me to tell you to grow the hell up.

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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

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