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Dr. Kate, I am 25 and have never had children, nor do I ever want them. I was on the pill from age 17-23, and never found one that didn't make me emotional, spotty, bloated...you know the drill. I'm really not a fan of introducing hormones to my body, but at the same time I do appreciate knowing when my period will occur. I asked both my doctor in England and my gyno here in America about tubal ligation and the IUD. Both of them said the exact same thing--no one will perform the surgery on me until I have children, and ditto with inserting the coil. I've read in your previous posts that, in fact, it is not necessary for a woman to have had children if she wants the coil. So why did both doctors say the same thing?
Childless By Choice
Dear CBC,
Consider this the first in a series of why even well-meaning doctors can be full of crap. The IUD first got a bad rap in the 1970s and has never really recovered--despite mounds of evidence that the IUD is very safe and effective, even for women who haven't had children. If there's a Planned Parenthood in your area, head there; their docs are up to date about offering women the full range of contraceptive choices. Since the IUD is about as effective as a tubal ligation (99+ percent), I like to call the IUD "reversible sterilization."
Tying your tubes, unfortunately, is a different situation. Most gynos will not sterilize a woman who has no children unless she has a serious medical condition where pregnancy could threaten her life. This thinking sounds totally paternalistic, I know, but it comes from a good place. "Tubal reversal"--an attempt to heal the gaps in the fallopian tubes--only works about half the time, costs roughly $10,000, and isn't covered by insurance. Given the availability of other great (and reversible) birth control methods, most gynos will just say no to a tubal for you. Have any of you had a hard time getting birth control from your gyno because of their philosophical reasoning?
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My doctor has told me a few times that I can get an IUD anytime I want. I don't have any kids, never been pregnant, and still do want them in the future. But they can take it out when I am ready.
In case you're still around, CBC, I want to let you know that whatever your doctor says, you can get an IUD, and be happy with it. I'm only 23, and have no children, but I was able to get one without a problem from a doctor at Planned Parenthood, and I really love it. I'm actually perplexed that so few other women have them or are encouraged to get them. Yes, actually getting one inserted is a bit of a pain, but it provides very effective birth control and still lets my body and hormones act normally. For its effectiveness, reversibility, and non-invasiveness, I totally recommend them.
I looooove my Mirena IUD - I am also CBC and also saw a more "liberal" clinic to get mine. My friends can't get me to shut up about it.
If you still have trouble, consider NuvaRing - waaaay lower hormones than the pill, makes your period regular, etc.
Good luck!
CBC, I am also 25, have no children, want them eventually, and received a Mirena IUD last year. I was also on the copper T for 3 years before that but switched since I had severe cramping. I really love it and hope you find a doctor somewhere to help you out ... perhaps come up to Canada for a visit!
It makes me so annoyed when doctors treat grown women like children who do not know what they want or what's best for them! I'm 27 with no children by choice, and had a hard time convincing a doctor to 'tie my tubes' and I remember feeling so frustrated.
I am now 37 and had my first child last year. I was, like the original poster, CBC for many years and never planned to have children. I had two abortions after contraceptive failure.
I changed my mind when I met the right person. It can happen -- so please, use a reversible method until you are past childbearing age. You just never know...
Thanks so much for all the glowing recommendations of the IUD. I'm getting mine at the end of the month from Planned Parenthood. Yay!
CBC
I've use Today Sponge's for years as a teen, then they were taken off the market and WOW! They are back. I love them, they are soft and discreet and work very well "IF" you follow directions. They have N-9, but I had a sensitivity to N-9 in other contraceptives, but strangely, not to the Sponge? Try them, I practically swear by them. Now that my daughter is sexually active, I've got her hooked on them too, she's 20 and a newbee at sex, but they are comfortable enough for her, the guy doesn't know, and she's got her friends hooked on them too. I could do a commercial.Lol!