Okay, so not quite speechless--that's not exactly our thing, as you might have noticed. But seriously, it's women like Finnish performance artist Mimosa Pale who give this sex biz a bad name. Mimosa thinks that the world is too phallic-focused (granted, she has a point), and so to protest, she rides around Helsinki on her vagina bicycle taxi, encouraging passers by to hop in. The trouble is, a giant papier-mache vagina looks like it belongs at the bottom of the ocean, subsisting on a diet of baby sharks and scuba divers. In other words, freakin' terrifying. Forget castration anxiety, this thing snacks on penises like they're Cheese Puffs. And how are we ever going to convince our mothers to take our careers seriously with giant vaginas stalking the streets?