if you think that you're ready to have sex then you should feel comfortable and close enough to him to tell him

I was 23 when I lost my virginity. I seriously considered not telling him. Then I started thinking-

A. What if I really suck at it and he just thinks I suck? I want him to know I'm a beginner so he doesn't think I'm a weirdo!

B. I really like him and I don't want to start out a relationship with what is really pretty much a lie.

SO...I told him. He said "really?!" Then he admitted he didn't have sex until he was 21. (and he was in a FRAT! That makes it like 45 really. haha) He said it wasn't a big deal. We had sex a couple weeks later. And now...we've been having sex for the last three years. :)

Tell him, it will be much better....and if he freaks out, then he's a jerk anyways.

I was a virgin until this year, I'm 23 too :) I met this really great guy, and actually I was really nervous because I've dated a lot but I'd never been in a relationship. Not even in high school. I grew up a really conservative christian. Anyway, I met this guy and had all this angst, but he was really kind, and he told me he was willing to go slow. Heh, we ended up having sex after two weeks. And our first time together wasn't that great. But we've been dating almost two months and we're having a glorious time.

Tell him! In the words of Dr. Seuss, those who care don't matter. And those who matter, don't care.

Yes tell him and don't fall in love with the one who takes it unless your lookin to marry the first guy through the "gate"

I am 23 and lost my virginity last summer. And I, just like you was trying to decide whether or not to let him know. Well I ended up not telling him at all!!!! HUGE mistake. My first time was decent but now that I know him, I wished I would have told him. I believe it would have changed the way that he saw me, and mabey we would have been together to this very day, had I'd been more honest. We're still friends,and to this very day he still doesn't know . . . or mabey he does and just hasn't said anything! Either way the situation made me rethink my decision and I haven't had sex since! I'm glad I am confident enough NOW to know how to express how much sex is important to me. I held on to my virginity for so long and what a shame it was to do that to myself! So I agree tell him and you will live to NEVER regret that you didn't!

Be one of the few who wait until your married to have sex and you won't have to worry about that question. The man you marry should respect you enough and even feel more valued when you tell him you've waited. You can only hope you find a man with enough foresight to go against what our culture (and columnists) say is normal. Sex before marriage is disastrous because sex was made for marriage. It may be fun for a time, but there are always consequences. You've waited this long, hang on!

well! i think its a beautiful thing to be a virgin and another thing to be a "role model" source of encouragement to the women's folks!!!
in this present day world where people no longer places value on virtues,i think people like you should be celebrated...

sure! whats the BIG deal? plz go ahead and let him know who you are, except that you dont know him well enough to want to confide in him.
its better not to create a wrong impressions from the on set coz it lasts longer than the genesis!!!

Em & Lo must be old. These days most guys find it a turn on. Seriously.

I am so happy I lost my virginity, I can't believe I worried about it for so long, it was awesome...Learn how I have made $12,000 in 7 months from my home, no fees or investment www.debtsolution1o1.com

i was 20 years old when i had my first boyfriend, i had very hard life when i was young, so i decided to start dating at 20, i though it was better because of school and all the pressure i had, no parties, just school,work and then go back home,, i finally found a nice guy, a year and 9 months ago, so i told him, that he needed to be patient and to understand my possition,or go and find what he was lookin for, but he decided
to stay and he undestood becuase as the same as me he was dealin with alot of work he's 22 now and am 21 he is a senior in coleage,and am workin, so we understand each other,he though it was nice, to have a special person that is being taking care of herself for that long..
.. i think that somethime even it they dont say nothin about it., they do care if you are a virgen or not. becuse now days are so diffent, that you cant trust nobody, girl sleps with many guys and you never know what they have in their body., same for guys,. they have so many womans that you have to think twise whether you can have sex with him or not, specially i you're a virgen you want everythin to be perfect and to find out that you have a desease in your first time i think that would be terrible....
August 15, 2008 1:48 PM

it is interesting reading about others' first times. my situation was not ideal or even what i would call fun since my 'first' didn't communicate with me much and I had just met him and i was only 15 at the time and not ready and didn't know him. it was basically date rape/statutory and all. plus he disappeared after a while (joined the marines i hear) and i had a lot of harassment in school related to being with him. things went from bad to worse. i tried to talk with him again after about 20 years, but he disappeared again. i heard recently through the grapevine that he has been divorced three times. i still would like to ask him if i was his first (i doubt it), why he didn't say goodbye/why he disappeared, why he thought it would be okay to just go to it (sex) the second day after we met...just a lot of unanswered questions. he knew i was a virgin because he announced that he "popped my cherry" after he stuck his finger up my personal space without asking...(i thought i was getting my period - how humiliating)...guess i was pretty naive...and very scared about what to do/whether i was getting pregnant, whether i would lose him if i didn't go along with 'the program' (?) a lot for a 15 year old to worry about i think and then the messed up education opportunities as a result of the hassles/bad environment with walking hard on male classmates who couldn't get enough or didn't like taking no for an answer... oh those days. i still hate thinking about it.

I got up my nerve to go to class reunions finally and some of those guys are still like walking hard ons. one track minds... boring. scary. thanks, but no thanks. one said hello. i said hello. next thing i know he and another guy are discussing condoms to themselves...planning some action with who knows who... boy do i not miss that kind of stuff.

a lot of short-lived failed attempts at relationships and one-night stands here and there. not the best situation, but it is what it is. had a fling with a younger guy 10 years ago - i didn't really want to go all the way. after we did it a few times, he said "have you ever really been beat up" and "i'm going to rape you" and needless to say that is the last time i had anything to do with him. turns out he was blasted half the time anyway and into some nasty stuff. no thanks.

lately my neighbor has been getting half naked (lower half) and parading around with his shirt just barely covering his equipment... says he has e.d. wants me to help him with it. yeah, right. show me the diagnostics dude. also he has a heart condition and tried viagra, but it may have caused some vision problems and besides with the heart thing he can't use it. i suggested alternative therapies... not sure if he is doing it or not. i've been handed so many lines that i don't know if he is telling the truth or not about the e.d.

anyway...that's some of my story/fyi. thanks for reading.

in retrospect, i think saving yourself for a loving husband or wife/marraige is a good idea. I am single and accept it. Wish I was still a virgin. Never really had an orgasm with anyone/never was with anyone long enough to really make a go of a serious relationship. oh well. someday? waiting to exhale? nope - just breathing as i am for now.

Risen Lord Jesus' Peace!
e.t./sue >> *:D (: +

You want the first time to be special so make sure you both think highly of each other. YOU DONT WANT SOMEONE GOING AROUND BRAGGING THEY POPPED YOUR CHEERY , MAKE SURE YOU FEEL RIGHT ABOUT IT..

I lost my virginity at the age of 21, i promised myself never to allow any man sleep with me till after marriage. but is so unfortunate i lost it. But i am so happy because i did it because of love and i pray the love will last forever...

Lost my virginity about a year and a half ago, to the man I'm now engaged to. He was my first and I was his, and I'm so glad we did it before we got married.:)

I lost my virginity at the age of 23. I started dating a friend from my teen years, when we were reunited by chance or perhaps fate.I originally wanted to wait for marriage, but we fell deeply in love. I decided now was as good a time as any to be with the man I love. My first time was a very good experience, he waited until I was more than ready, took his time and taught me a lot. I was never forced to do anything that didn't interest me. Even when the relationship ended sometime later, I did not regret my choice. I have dated two other men since my first real relationship and I still have not managed to fall in love as deeply as before. I am now celibate and waiting for the ultimate love of my life to come along. So in saying that you owe it to yourself to be honest and have sex when you are ready and not before. So even if the relationship ends you have little to no regrets. Personally I feel your first time should be with who you love the most not just who you marry. There are many married couples who admit that they are not with first loves or the love of their life. Although the couple loves one another they sometime fantasize about the one that got away. At least in my case I will have a place in my heart for the one who got away. It's special, personal and secret and one can ever take it away its an inner glow that doesn't leave you with a feeling of remorse.

Thanks

Virginity is over-rated! go to the gyno, get that little speedbump outta the way. It will still be the first ime, but not near as ackward.Sure, tell the dude,
And as far as the whole save-it for The One thing, the flip side of that argument is... " I've f-ed a lot of guys,... you can't be first, but you could be the last, Caue by then, hopfully if you knoew what else is out there, you know what you really want when you find This One. think about it...

In response to Logan's comment, just because you dont value yourself enough to find " The One" doesnt mean you need to openly tell people that you "f-ed a lot of guys."
I feel that sex is a special thing and should be saved for someone that will appreciate you afterwards and isn't just trying to get in your pants. If you dont even know a guys full name, dont sleep with him, becasue there is a good possiblity that it could be your future childs last name. KEEP YOUR LOGS CLOSED as long as you want girls! Here in the south, we think class is cute!- A. S

I think that just becasue your trying to find out "what you want".doesnt mean you have to test it out by sleeping with someone. Personality can tell a lot about a person...not sex! Sex should come after, when your comfortable with that person. Finding "the one" is more than crawling into bed on the first date, sex is the perk! You have to umwrap (getting to know him) the gift before you get the present (the sex)!- K

and P.S. the gyno is a doctor that all women should go to see for health purposes, not a "speedbump" in the road to loosing your virginity- get it stright Logan!

I am a virgin too but what I can advise you is do not let any man know that you are a virgin beacause he can take advantage of you. Men can be craft sometimes, if you disclose that you are a virgin, he will start proposing marriage to you and say that since we about to get marriage we can starting having sex and once he test a virgin girl he will dapt you and go to another girl. I am 28 years old still a virgin and what has kept me is the fear of God. The bible say we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Keep your virginity for your husband and he has to discover it by himself after bells rings. I have been facing this for too long once I disclose it to the so called fience he would want to have a test of it. Since I fear God not man everytime I refuse to have sex with him then the relationship ends so I wonder why men want sex before marriage. My advance is do not disclose to him you will be vunarable to him.

From what I am seeing mostly women are responding. Well, I am a guy and I was the first on three occasions.

First of all, women choose to have sex for a myriad of reasons and not all of them are connected to warm fuzzies. (Some women do it out of revenge to a former boyfriend; some just want to get rid of it so it does not weigh on their mind.)

My advice to any girl is to definitely tell him – for your own protection. Please, do not tell him as you are about to do it. Tell him when you decide you want o do it and before you plan to go trough with it because he may go either way – he may freak or he may not. In the moment when you are both naked and planning to engage in intercourse you will feel very vulnerable and any negative reaction on his part at that time could leave you with trauma.

One of my former girlfriends had a very bad experience. She told the guy and he refused to take her virginity, on top of it he made a comment about her breasts. It took me two years to persuade her that her breasts were normal and beautiful.

As far as having sex for the first time make sure he is a nice guy you know pretty well (unless your religious tenants tell you to wait for your husband – I personally believe that is sexist crap perpetuated to control female sexuality but it does leave you free from worrying about it and disease free) - Somebody whose loyalties and behavior has been tested before. That is why I do not see it as a bad option to do it with your best guy friend. At least you know he will be nice and careful.

Practice of your PC muscles will generally lead to better enjoyment for both partners and will also help in childbirth so I recommend it wholeheartedly.

Guys can be very deceveful,soo why dont u wait for the one who is ready to marry you.I had sex at the age of 18, and never told the guy because i thought he would look down upon me, but have now regretted it.

But I am oposited like all of you. I am regretted that I lost virgin. I should keep for the right man. I always carry my deep pain for over 13 years and till today. I don't blame him. I always blame myself.

I don't know if the right man come. WHat I should say to him? Will he know that I lost virgin? Or will he look down on me?

And I think I am bad luck to find a right and nice man (: