Our intern Maddie Phillips, a senior at SUNY Oswego, thinks she has the secret to a perfect GPA: find the perfect boyfriend! (Or girlfriend.) Ah, if it only it were that easy...

So, you're going to college and you're writing up a list of supplies. One thing that probably isn't on the list--but should be, in my opinion--is that brand spankin' new college boyfriend/girlfriend. That is, if you really want straight A's.

When you're a single freshman, what do you do? A) Study 24/7--you're totally just there for the degree! or B) Go to parties, meet new people, stay up all night, and make out in the corner of the under-age drinking party with the cutest frat boy you can find. Well, if you're like most freshman (read: me), then B) is the only viable option. It sounds like a great time--and don't get me wrong, it is, at least for a little while--until you're explaining to your parents that their tuition money is funding not only drunken nights of cheap beer and cheaper conversation but something far worse: academic mediocrity.

For many people this phase wears off with the freshman 15. You develop priorities, moral fiber, and fiscal responsibility; you learn that those frat houses are cesspools of low self-esteem and low IQs; and you realize you were lucky to escape them without herpes. You slow down, sober up and start studying, at least a little.

But not everyone makes that one giant leap into adulthood before graduating.

Let me introduce you to my dear friend...let's call her X. X is in many ways the typical single college girl who has naïvely convinced herself that by having casual sex with no intention of further commitment she is somehow liberated, evolved, and beating the frat boys at their own game. But what exactly does it mean to "win" this game?

For X, playing the game has become an all-consuming process: she gets fully made-up whenever she leaves her room (even if she's going to the library at midnight in the middle of finals week!), she works out in the gym until it closes, she spends an inordinate amount of time at the tanning salon, and she drinks until she falls over just to make it all seem more fun. (Meanwhile the guys are just playing beer pong and downloading porn from the Internet.) The result: not so many As.

Granted, X is an extreme case (in fact, she's totally out of her mind), but I still refuse to believe that casual sex offers the average female college student anything other than unnecessary distraction and psychological vulnerability. Bottom line: it's just too unstable! I've seen girls spend hours on Facebook just to stalk the "relationship status" of that special someone they supposedly "don't want any commitment from" when they should be writing a paper or doing homework. Not to mention the amount of time I've sat with friends decoding the hidden meaning in the IM away message of the person they've been flirting with, or writing and re-writing the perfect text back to someone they had a one-night stand with. How do these "liberated" ladies have time to study?

So what's a coed supposed to do? I guess you could try swearing off sex altogether, like some single ladies I know. Hmm...well if it works for you then amen. But come on, this is college! It might be the last time you're ever going to be surrounded by so many eligible lovers of the same age, general intelligence, and perhaps even interests. Who wants to waste all that by staying home and masturbating? Even the Christian kids I know are marrying before graduation just to get some moral booty.

No, the key is to find yourself a steady boyf. Depsite their protests to the contrary, people like X are ultimately looking for one--they're just going about it the wrong way. My advice: don't go for the drunk hotties, go for the helpful dorks! The dorkier the better. Dorks are usually low-maintenance and respect not only you, but also the importance of your studies. It wasn't until I met my current boyfriend on campus--not in a bar or at a club, but in the classroom--that I was finally able to achieve a successful balance between organization and orgasm. And what's better than a partner who can tutor you during the day and then burn up your sheets at night?

There is one problem though: in order to get to that healthy balanced and productive portion of the relationship, you have to make it through (dun dun dunnnn) the HONEYMOON PERIOD. Few study sessions survive the H.P.--and it's a good thing you're wearing rose-colored glasses, because if you weren't, you might notice the big red marks on your tests. In the beginning of the relationship you're ditching classes, homework, friends, parties, and even showers for your new Adonis.

However, once you get past the H.P., being in a healthy relationship is one of the best things you can do for your academic career. Not only does it keep you level-headed and grant you the security to allow for greater focus, it's also (ahem) pretty nice to not have to worry about where your next bit of "stress release" is coming from.