The Huffington Post recently ran ten tips to better sex and sleep (in two installments) as part of Sophie Keller's "How Happy Is Your Home" series. Despite its earnest, new age-y, feng-shui tone which drives us nuts on principle, the advice is pretty much spot on, albeit a bit obvious: Keep your bedroom "simple, peaceful and uncluttered," don't have pictures of your in-laws around your bed, and make sure you can see the door easily from the bed--"hello intruders!" (our wording).

She also recommends putting a plant or fresh flowers in your room to keep your love blossoming, but fails to mention that if your thumb is about as green as Bush's energy policy, then having a rotting, dying plant in your love haven could undo all that good symbolism. She recommends making sure the head of your bed is against the wall to make you feel secure so you get a good night's sleep--there's no mention of how a bed smack dab in the middle of the room makes you an egotistical, self-centered loser with a prince/ess complex who should be sleeping in Cinderella or Superman Underoos. There's also talk of how the back right-hand corner of the house should be where your bedroom is, and how the back right-hand corner of each room is the "relationship area" of that room; we'd also say that each house should have a jacuzzi to optimize relaxation energy, an indoor swimming lap pool to invigorate your home with water's life-giving properties, a pony in your back stable to nurture your inner child, and a sex dungeon to keep your darker fantasies separate from where you shit and eat--but hey, not everyone can be so lucky.

Mostly, we just feel the piece left out some important basic tips to help in the sex department of your bedroom: