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This week's bucket list edition goes out to a whole bunch of women who have written in to say that they're straight but fancy getting jiggy with a lady. Take this note from Allie, for example: "Before I die (actually, before I settle down), I want to sleep with another woman. How do I tap into my bi-curious side, and how do I even find someone to experiment with?" Oh, and if you're on the fence about attacking your own bucket list, consider this: Dave Freeman, co-author of the original 100 Things to Do Before You Die book, died this week at age 47, after hitting his head in a fall (his family says he got through about half his list). So here are a few tips for all you post-college L.U.G.s out there. Go on, do it for Dave!

1. Online personals are the perfect place to find a candidate for your L.U.G. fling. And if you're not quite sure you're ready to jump in yet, it's a great way to flirt with other gals online and get an idea of who might be your type by window-shopping. Just make sure you're honest -- don't go checking the "looking for a serious relationship" box.

2. If part of your bucket list wish is to actually get picked up by a lady (or do the picking up yourself) then just head over to your local lesbian bar. Because believe it or not, you'll find a whole bunch of lesbians there.

3. Many a straight woman who has taken it upon herself to "experiment" assumes that the entire lesbian world will be giddy with excitement at the prospect of a one-night stand with a het gal. So this het gal walks into a lesbian bar and can't believe that the other patrons aren't falling over themselves to get to her. But a lot of lesbians just can't be bothered with the hassle of a woman who may freak out halfway through or just not commit to the cunnilingus. If you're one of those het gals who always relies on the man to make the first move -- shame on you -- you may have to actually get off your butt and do some of the heavy lifting seduction work yourself.

4. No matter how you meet her, whether online or off, be honest about your intentions and (lack of) expectations. Being a L.U.G. for a night doesn't give you the right to act like an asshole playa dude.

5. If your town is all out of gay bars, you could always steer an evening toward a game of Truth or Dare or Spin the Bottle with a bunch of like-minded friends. Because nine times out of ten, those games end up in two girlfriends (meaning girl [space] friends) making out.

6. Buyer beware: If a game of Truth or Dare ends up in two straight(ish) girls making out, nine times out of ten a dude will try to join in. So if you'd like things to go a little further than French kissing, you might want to play Seven Minutes in Heaven and put a lock on the closet door.

7. Buyer beware, redux: Seven minutes is not nearly enough time to get to "heaven."

8. If you're feeling panicked about what to do, consider this: she's got the same parts as you do -- it's not like this is foreign territory. (Tongues and fingers are more than enough, no need to break out the strap-on.) So pretend you're hooking up with yourself and go from there. Just remember that every woman's parts work slightly differently. Which means, the number one rule about hooking up with a woman is to pay attention to how her body responds to what you're doing.

9. Just because you're fulfilling your bucket list dream, doesn't give you the right to be a selfish lover. And just because you're a novice at sapphic love doesn't give you the right to be a lazy lover, either.

10. Have fun! This is only sex, after all. If you're not enjoying yourself, you're kind of missing the point.


Rene said:

"it's only sex, after all" .... how sad. What is supposed to be the epitome of closeness between two people, that which bonds people together emotionally, physically, and spiritually, is reduced to something casual and trite. Interesting you never mentioned safety or the risk of disease which is so rampant nowadays. This article saddens and sickens me.


I think there are better ways to find someone to experiment with. The internet may or may not be an option for some people. It's all in how you view things. Yes, it presents the options of 'window shopping' but you take the risk of not finding someone honest and therefore presents a risk. The best advice I can give is to take the same precautions you would take when looking for a man. The scenario is the same. Although the circumstances and partners are different.....aren't we all looking for the same thing in this life? No one ever said that it had to be a lifelong's experimentation for crying out loud. Just be safe, take the same precautions that you would with a man. There are female condoms out there as well!

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