08.21.2008  BY EM & LO
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As a sort of "back to school" post, our soon-to-be-senior Maddie Phillips reviews the best and worst places to do it on campus (*asterisked items are her "been there, done that" locales):

THE BEST:
 
Library*: Classic. Who hasn't had that hot librarian fantasy? You can play it out on location by making a special trip to the top floor of your university library. Just make sure you keep the noise down, of course.
 
Study Lounge*: This should come as no surprise to anyone who has lived in a dorm before. My boyfriend and I both had roommates that were usually around at night when we wanted to, um, get it on 'til the break of dawn. So, we would lay down for a bit until it was late in the evening and sneak into the study room down the hall and barricade (the lockless) door. 

Laundry Room*: Hot bumping and grinding combined with even more hot bumping and grinding.
 
Empty Classroom: Now this is the kind of extra credit that would draw some attendance. This works best if it's the classroom of your most hated professor.
 
Campus Theater:
You may feel inspired to really emote, just don't "act out" any orgasms--keep 'em real.

Music Rehearsal Room*: Aren't they all for making beautiful music? NOTE: Sound-proof walls are like magic.
 
Campus Television Station: If there was ever a place to make a video...
 
On the Lake*: Not every school has one but Oswego sits right on Lake Ontario with the bragging rights of one of the most beautiful sunsets in the world. If your school is near a body of water that you haven't had sex in, on, or near, then you have your work cut out for you this semester.
 
Racquetball Court: The only truly private room in our school gym is the racquetball room. I'm excited to get in there and work up a sweat this semester.
 
Rooftop*: It can be a bit difficult to gain access, but if you can it's worth the work. NOTE: You might want to make sure you're on the highest building in your general vicinity; otherwise you won't be without an audience.
 
Art Studio*: My ex-boyfriend was an art major, which apparently requires a lot of late nights in the studio. I went with him once for a photo shoot he was using me in which unsurprisingly turned erotic quickly. If any one walks in I suppose you could always claim you were practicing your life drawing.

THE WORST:

Community Showers*: Obvious, uncomfortable and dirty. I don't know why people think this is sexy. It's usually filthy, and has terrible lighting.
 
Parking Lot*: I'm all for car sex. As a matter of fact I'm a huge fan. But I'm no exhibitionist and sex in a school parking lot is just inviting voyeurism.
 
Bathroom Stall: I'd rather do it in the community shower.
 
Elevators (in service): Unless you are superhuman and you climax faster than a speeding bullet, I don't see anyone truly getting off in an elevator. However, if the elevator is docked, you're in business.
 
Stairwells: Hmmm...sex in the wake of a million dirty footprints. Pass.
 
Hallway: There is adventurous... and then there's dumb.
 
Roommate's Bed*: I hope my roommate never reads this...this one is a bad idea because in the throes of passion it's likely you'll leave evidence. Also, your roommate has a key to her own room, which might mean awkward walk-in. Plus, it's just plan rude to invade someone's personal space like that. Not worth the risk (realized in retrospect.)
 

ALL-TIME WORST PLACE
 
In Your Own Bed (when your roommate is still in her/his bed)*: I really hope my roommate never reads this! Picture it: Your roommate skipped her morning class and is selfishly cutting into your usual morning workout routine. Do you risk playing the "Don't wake the roommate" game? I know what you're thinking: "Well, if you're quiet enough...maybe." The correct answer is NO. Never. You are not Chuck Norris: Your roommate will know that you're doing the nasty right next to her (whether she let's you know or not) and she will hate you--forever. Besides, who wants quiet, cautious, borderline paranoid sex anyway?


9 Comments

Jackie said:

My friend found out from someone else that her old roommate ALWAYS had sex when she was there, long after they stopped living together. She thought she was being a cool roommate letting the girl's bf stay over all the time, WRONG. It' just bad dorm etiquette and totally creepy.

Marissa said:

This made me laugh! Parking Lot...check...but there was no voyeuristic aspect as it was 3am and the lot was empty. Where we were parked was pretty private.

Classrooms on my campus are almost always locked so they aren't even an option. We have a semi-private lounge we use quite often, though.

I heard that our music practice rooms were a great private place to hook-up. I had no idea and have yet to utilize them. I guess there's consensus that they are a good choice even on other campuses.

A personal story and place to add to the list...

Late one night we snuck into the only available unlocked door...the Faculty Lounge. We didn't have much time so it didn't go that far but my BF wants to go back and finish the job. I'd say this isn't an ideal place and you are very apt to get caught.

Bev's and hooking up by the lake... Those were the days. At least the 2 months of the year you dare go outside.

said:

As a grad student, I had an adviser that was relentless in his demands. He goes out of town for a conference and my girlfriend (also a student of the same adviser) and I go straight into his office, clear his desk and make a memory that has last 20 years. Yummmm!

said:

Oh man, this brought back some great memories!

The study lounge was always a great place...even though the door did have a window in it. What a nice break from making sure my hot athlete passed world religions!

The first time I had anal sex it was in the communal kitchen in my coed freshman dorm! It was hardly ever used for kitchen activities, but was right next to the very busy laundry room, so the risk of being caught was high! We both had roommates and there was literally nowhere else to go!

Parking lots are definitely bad! Under the influence and using almost no judgment, his friends were watching the action from their window AND the campus security guy patrolling on a golf cart caught us and made us stop.

College was great!

My personal believe is that school system should give extra credit to students for this sort of activity, which easily falls under communication and liberal arts besides the obvious sex education.

I have a difference of opinion with those so-called "worst places." Community showers or co-ed showers happen to be an excellent place. All you have to do is pick a spot, soap it up, rinse it off, and do the deed. It's that simple. The co-ed showers at Stanford U. are living proof of good, clean fun - especially at night when you know someone who's got the key to the place.

On a side note, apartment complexes have these intense orgy spots. For example, Americana Apartments in Mountain View, CA has a gym and a huge spa with a very erotic atmosphere of showers and hot tubs. When you walk into this place, you can smell the intense aroma of all the projectile bodily fluids. Of course, all the action is at night because the next morning you can find used rubbers all over the place.

You forgot to mention the planetarium. I still recall the planetarium at Foothill College a few decades ago when it was shut down for some reason, but the doors were left unlocked and it was completely dark inside. When I decided to explore inside one day, I heard all kinds of moaning and slapping noises and I could smell all sorts of projectile body fluids. It was then I figured out that this was the orgy room, but I could not figure out how to sign up for the activity.

It was later when I figured out that this was recreational activity, so we couldn't get credits for it.

hedwiggy said:

Hmph..I've definitely THOUGHT about doing it in one or more of these places but I am the only one that would have extreme difficulty actually gaining access to said locations, an empty classroom for example? And there are always people in the top floor of my library.

I guess for now I'll just be glad I currently live off-campus.

that roommate said:

well one more comment/story for the worlds most wrecked place that ties into your roommate....i happened to be the unlucky roommate that walked in on his roommate and his gf but they looked like they were sleeping so i went to bed then i heard the moaning and bumping of the bottom BUNK...if only i had an apartment from the start instead of 1 year in teh dorms...

Luna said:

I have an even better worst place to do the down and nasty, and that is right next to your roommate who is on your boyfriend's computer trying to show you something they were watching the night before. I was so mortified when I was asked to join them in there little romp, no shame what so ever... T_T

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