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NEWS 08.14.2008 BY EM & LO

The Oh-lympics

The Olympics are such a noble event symbolic of international peace and camaraderie, that to bring sex into The Games would be a tactless move, expressing an outright distaste of taste. So....let the tactlessness begin!

Apparently, lots of sweating, increased heart rates, and aerobic activity doesn't just happen at the official events, but also in the Olympic Village -- one person calls it "an adult Disney World."

But in China, the Olympic Village is kind of a drag when it comes to hooking up.

Though there are no gift bags full of condoms, as in previous Olympics, the Chinese are providing some free condoms to athletes, a tradition since 1992.

Before the Games began, advertisements featuring stick-man athletes using condoms as apparatus in Olympic events became a viral sensation in China.

Um, somehow we missed this in Athens, but bikini-clad cheerleaders for Olympic volleyball competitions just really cheapens the sport. And where's the male eye-candy for women's volleyball, huh?! (It's like that old joke: "The food is terrible here. And such small portions!")

That said, we don't think there's anything wrong with appreciating the male swimmers in their spandex. It's simply their athletic wear, after all. Even NBC thinks it's okay.

There's actually a sex test lab set up in Beijing to make sure the women competing really are women.

The Australian swimming world's version of David Beckham and Posh Spice announced their breakup on Facebook right before The Games.

We were watching the Olympics coverage on NBC and they had a short segment on a panda stud farm, which included coverage of panda porn. Swear to god. Tubular has a good summary at the end of this post.

Before the Opening Ceremonies' singing scandal in which the cute child singer wasn't cute enough so they got a "cuter" child to lip synch, there was another Opening Ceremonies singing scandal in which an adult singer was too "adult" in his private life so they got someone else to sing.

Speaking of the Opening Ceremonies, was that not the visual equivalent of multiple orgasms?

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1 Comments

Josh said:

The Olympic journalists got condoms too!

http://www.nbcolympics.com/wxia/blogs/blog=davidbrooksbeijingblog/postid=177812.html#getting+settled+beijing (2nd paragraph)

August 14, 2008 1:26 PM

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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

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