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Our inbox is overflowing and we'll never get to all the lonely hearts, so each week, one reader's fate will be left up to the masses. Answer this reader's question by filling out the poll after the jump:

Dear Em & Lo,

A few months ago I had a one-night stand with a guy who (I found out in the midst of intercourse) was dating someone. I just caught a vibe in the middle of it all that there must be someone else, and I asked. They are still together, but recently he has been texting me. We had amazing chemistry and the most intense (in a good way) conversations. I would be okay with just being friends, but I am not sure what he is thinking. I was so upset with myself for sleeping with someone in a relationship, especially since I was cheated on not long before that one-night stand. His last texts were to tell me that when we hooked up that he knew he was dating someone, that he "enjoyed it," and that he thought I was sexy as hell. I tried to make him change the subject, even telling him that he made me feel like a whore when he told me things like that, and he kept harping about it. I am still unsure about what he is wanting out of all this. If you could offer any insight into what on earth all of this is, I would be grateful. It seems too strange to be a booty call, but I am not sure. Should I try to tell the girlfriend to save her any more problems? Should I tell him to leave me alone? Please help! This whole situation is making me want to swear off dating.

--The Other Woman

09.30.2008  BY DR. KATE

Dr. Kate,

I had unprotected sex a few days ago (oral and penetration). I know it's stupid and I've been alternately kicking and lecturing myself ever since. What I'd like to know is this: how soon can I get tested for STDs? I don't mind going in several times to get the tests, since I know different things show up at different times, it's just I'd like to start getting answers to my worries as soon as possible. Thanks for your help.

Stupid and Worried

Amy Levine, M.A., is a sexologist and sexuality educator in New York City. She received her Master's Degree in Human Sexuality from New York University, and certification from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. She spent a decade at the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States and has written for the excellent Go Ask Alice! website. She makes her home on the web at

So what does it mean to be a sexologist-slash-sexuality educator?
It means I've spent years studying the research, learning the facts, keeping up-to-date with new trends and findings in the field, and educating others, making a difference in their lives.
As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
When I was 12, I wanted to be an interior designer. In college I declared it as my major, and found out the program was being phased out. Now, I'm all about feeling good about my surroundings, and being empowered about sexuality. And, for the record having sex in a well-designed and dressed room with a compatible partner is the ultimate sexual experience. Oh yeah, and a high thread count if you're having sex in bed.

09.30.2008  BY EM & LO

Speaking of HBO, we also caught the premiere of Chris Rock's new comedy special, Kill the Messenger. Sure, we laughed, but just as often we got really annoyed. For the sake of concision, here's one reason why.

The following is an excerpt from his special. Remember, this is a straight comedian talking about gay people:

09.29.2008  BY EM & LO

We watched the latest episode of True Blood last night on HBO. Anna Paquin's annoying face-twitching method of acting made us almost quit the show for good, but the hilarious side plot about her brother's troubled relationship with his penis will keep us tuning in for at least another week. After the episode, we caught a promotional clip for HBO, which Ad Freak says is directed by Oscar-winning Sam Mendes. We see a couple ferociously getting it on in the bathroom of an airplane. They clean up and sneak back to their seats one at a time -- her first, then him. When he takes his seat, it's -- get this -- beside her, and their hands clasp to reveal her wedding ring.

Awwww! We totally weren't expecting that. The cliché, at least on television and in movies, is two strangers deciding to join the mile high club together. Only people who don't know each other that well could muster that kind of unbridled passion -- or so the lame conventional wisdom goes. So we were so delighted and surprised to see hot naughty sex between committed partners. Refreshing!

But wait, the promo continues and we see the exact same thing begin again: the couple ferociously getting it on in the airplane bathroom, cleaning up and sneaking back to their seats one at a time. But this time, when he takes his seat, it's beside his unsuspecting wife -- the lady in the loo is directly across the aisle from him giving him a secret, knowing side glance. Fade to black, followed by the words on the screen "There are stories... And there are HBO stories." Boooooo! Booooooooooooo!

Photo via Jezebel

Remember last year when bloggers everywhere (including, er, us) got all excited that George Clooney was spotted leaving an apartment carrying a purple Liberator Sex Ramp? It was just further proof that Georgie boy is perfect--no sex toy shame for him! And then last night we saw the new Coen Brothers film, Burn After Reading, and realized that he was only shooting a scene (ah, that would explain the strange pants). But we refuse to let go of the dream! Let's start a rumor that George stole that sex ramp from the props room and uses it to this day.

That said, we're not sure we'll be fantasizing about the other sex toy that has a starring role in Burn After Reading: George's character builds a reclining sex chair in his basement, complete with a mechanical dildo. It's kind of a mad scientist's take on the "sit on this and swivel" insult. Do you know any woman who could actually get off this way? (We mean, assuming that the sex chair in question wasn't actually located in George Clooney's basement...)

Clooney's character explains to his Internet date, played by Frances McDormand, that he saw one in a "gentleman's magazine" and was horrified at the price, so he built his own with Home Depot supplies and a pink Silky dildo by Vibratex (okay, so the sex chair may be scary, but at least the dildo is phthalate-free!).

09.29.2008  BY EM & LO

The smart-ass folks at someecards, the best free e-card site ever, have come up with some great free non-partisan cards and banner ads available at to help shame your (special) friends and family into voting this election year (you can also register to vote and find your nearest polling place via the site). The above banner is, of course, the favorite* of two sex writers desperate to see people vote to protect their sexual freedoms and reproductive rights this year, though the card "Voting is the perfect way to not feel like an asshole when someone asks if you voted" comes a close second.

*(though there should be a male version of this card available)

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Sure, opposites attract, but that doesn't mean they're going to have anything to say to each other while they're spooning after all that hot, opposites-attracting kind of sex. Write this down on a Post-It and stick it on your bathroom mirror, because we can't always be there to say, "I told you so"--no matter how much we enjoy doing so.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
You like someone. Frequent the places where this someone hangs out. Make it look coincidental, not obvious. Fate is sexy, stalking isn't.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Someone may try to push you to make a decision regarding a relationship. If you have to think about it, you probably aren't ready to move that fast. Then again, maybe you just haven't had your morning coffee yet and are feeling a little sluggish. Perhaps you have a head cold, or are hungover, and just need time to wake up and smell the roses of romance. Still, chances are you're a selfish, immature bastard who's afraid to grow up and won't commit. At least we'll still love you.

09.26.2008  BY EM & LO
A weekly round-up of our favorite sex-related musings on the Web:
  • Blogish writes an open letter to porn producers everywhere with a special request: he wants porn stars to re-enact what happens when a Hollywood sex scene fades to black. (Though something tells us that this kind of thing already exists and is not nearly as hot as just imagining it. Then again, maybe that's just us.)

Are you a member of the mile high club?; First class; sex; Airplanes; coach; impertinent question; bathroom; mile high club; em and lo; flying; daily bedpost; Sexuality; Are you a member of the mile high club?

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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City.

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