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A lot of people refuse to talk dirty because they are afraid of sounding stupid. But you don't have to say things out of character, throw around more four-letter words than Gordon Ramsay, or speak in pornographic detail in order to verbally accessorize sex successfully. In fact, you don't have to use a single swear! Sure, that makes the dirty talk a little less dirty, but it's still effective--and with 57 percent less blushing! We never write down actual dirty talk on paper because something invariably gets lost in translation--out of context it does sound stupid. But we're breaking our rule to show you how painless it can be. Think of it as kinder, gentler dirty talk. It's all a bit cliché, but in the moment it works every time. So without further ado, the top ten mid-sesh lines for the lewdly challenged:

1. Familiar:
"[Insert partner's name here]. Oh, [insert partner's name here]."
2. Positive: "Yes." (repeat)
3. Directive: (while pointing) "Touch/kiss me here."
4. Encouraging: "Just like that."
5. Inquisitive: "How does that feel? / Does that feel good? / Do you like that?" (not all at once, though)
6. Demanding: "Take off your clothes. / Lie down. / Close your eyes. / Turn over. / Bend over."
7. Complimentary: "You are so hot/beautiful/sexy. / You smell/taste/feel so good."
8. Pleading: (breathy whisper) "Please, now. / Please, don't stop. / Please."
9. Threatening: "Don't move an inch/don't make a sound or I'll stop."
10. Obsequious: "Tell me what you want. / I'll do whatever you want. / I just want to make you feel good. / Do whatever you want to me, I'm yours."

11. (Bonus line) Spiritual: "Oh, God!"


11 Comments

mmmameshu said:

I really love the words you use "verbally accessorize sex" that just sounds as a perfect comfortable way of dirty talk :) without making me blush too much if i use one or maybe even three of the above stated lines.

Camelia said:

I got hot just reading those lines.

Muzi said:

LOL @ no.9. Please just imagine hearing that. A mess...

April Dance said:

Love this! Sent it to my sig other who LOVES to talk dirty. And who couldn't understand why I had a hard time with it. Thank you for saving me! (Although, I will say, I do use the bonus line quite a bit already.) :)

Gabriel B. said:

This is like the best way to talk dirty but without the dirty part i know it sounds weird but its true and it does work (ask my girl) hahah but yeah who this is keep up with these you make peoples sex life a whole lot better !!

said:

i thought i didnt know how to talk dirty but i have said every one of these things at one time or another

KC said:

I'm a guy (am I supposed to be reading this haha) and I've just been saying these out loud to my tv! These are pretty good, I think most of these would work for a guy to use too!

Although saying no.6 altogether while pointing sounds a bit kidnapper-ish hehe.

I am a HUGE fan of dirty talk! This list is a good start!!

Ehl oh ehl said:

Haha, my guy says lots of these, too :P

They work on both sides :)

said:

omg i really like those but still feel a little shy to say them.

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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

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