Image via Comic Vs. Audience

If you've ever wanted a bit of help figuring out what's dirty sexy talk and what's just plain weird, then this "Things to Say During Sex" flow chart by comedian Doogie Horner may help. He categorizes all dirty talk as either "good," "bad," or "meh" (hilarious exampe of the latter: "Thanks for that"). And each phrase or term fits into a category, from religious to animal noises to swear words to foreign words to--one of our favorites--"rhetorical questions" (you know..."Who's your Daddy?"). So lion noises are good, sheep noises, not so much. And if you wanna rut like a T-Rex, then go for it, according to Doogie, though he recommends skipping the whale sounds. For the record, however, we have to say that dirty talk is largely subjective and most definitely contextual. So while we agree with Doogie that we can't really imagine a situation in which "I rule at fucking" or "Wanna suck this shit?" would go down well (the latter is one of the no-no's in the rhetorical questions category), we're not so sure that we'd completely rule out "Hello vicar."