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ARCHIVES >> OCTOBER 2008

10.31.2008  BY EM & LO


A weekly round-up of our favorite sex-related musings on the Web:
  • Slog shows us a disturbing video for a new Japanese hand-held game -- turn your sound down if you don't want people in the vicinity to think you're watching porn.

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1. Get your blood work done beforehand and make sure you bring condoms: while the undead can't give you any STDs, infections you might have (especially blood-borne infections) can make for an unpleasant experience for your vampire.

2. Don't eat any garlic for at least 72 hours beforehand.

3. Don't give blood for at least a month beforehand: you'll need all your reserves.

4. Remove any cross necklaces.

5. Avoid aggressive French kissing, lest you nick your tongue on their teeth (if you've ever bitten your own tongue, you'll understand how painful this can be).

6. Request that your biting coincide with an orgasm -- the rush of endorphins will help ease any pain, plus your increased heart rate will feel extra nice to your vampire.

7. Audible moaning to show you're enjoying this pleasure-pain is always appreciated by a vampire.

8. Make sure you pack a snack (like a juice box and cookies) to eat immediately afterward to help with any wooziness.

9. Expect to be kicked out before sun up, and don't take it personally.

10. Have a turtleneck or scarf on hand to wear home.

*For those of you one newt's eye short of a witch's brew, the above is Halloween fiction and is not intended as actual sex advice. You should not be breaking skin or letting anyone break your skin during sex: gentle hickeys are the best you can hope for. Happy Halloween!

What makes a great blowjob?; Art; balls; big lilps; blowjob; communication; deep throat; dick; dirty; flow; gag; great; impertinent question; jerk; licked; lubrication; nails; nasty; passion; penis; scraping; scrotum; sex; Sexuality; spit; suck; Teeth; tongue; What makes a great blowjob?

The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #152? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing radical vixen at gmail dot com. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you're all set.

This Week's Picks
Help, My Friend Says I Have an Ugly Vagina!
"Say no to vagina prejudice!"

"Kiss My Boots."
"One of the more unexpected hairpin turns I navigated in my "Coming Out" into BDSM involved a series of moments that were deceptively simple, perhaps even innocent, in a way."

Yours, Sir
"I felt and then heard a low rumble of a slightly sadistic chuckle from him."

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor's Choice
Sass And The Sadist

More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.


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Our intern Kristine deGuzman, a junior at UC Berkeley, discusses the great divide between her and her boyf:

My boyfriend is a foot taller than me. An entire foot. It's difficult enough for us to kiss standing up, let alone in a horizontal position while having sex.

Normally, when deciding whom to date and whom not to date, I take our height differences into consideration. Being 4'11", I understand that there are some guys who are just out of my reach, literally. For instance, at a kickback at my apartment last year, I met the sweetest, most charismatic and most beautiful boy I had ever met. However, he was 6'5". It just didn't seem feasible that we would ever be physically comfortable together. Even standing on a chair he was still much taller than me -- and I can't be standing on chairs all the time. So there he was, possibly the most perfect boy I had ever met, and he was just too tall for me. It happens...

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Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the question, Do all (okay, most) guys -- gay or straight -- like their bumholes played with? Just external or penetration (with a finger or more)?

Straight Single Guy (Colin): Isn't there a great Sex and the City episode that decided we like it, we just don't want to talk about it? In reality you're going to have to ask each guy before you dive in. We can't generalize here. External play might be fine in most cases as long as you're stimulating his penis. But full-on penetration can quickly change the picture. For first-timers a finger inside can feel really different but if he's up for exploring why not give it a go? Some (immature) guys think it makes them gay and will have decided beforehand never to try it out. Others may experiment and decide it's not for them. And then there's always those who go crazy for it (like my friend who described his prostate orgasm as such: "It's like coming in slow motion").

Straight Married Guy (Ben): Some people will tell you that straight guys can't get into their own butts because of homophobia but I don't buy that. Lots of guys equate butt play with being "topped" and think that it'll make them weak or not masculine. And that's a shame because the anus is a wonderfully sensitive organ and, more than that, inside the butt is the prostate, which is the best male sexual part since, like, the penis. Of course, that said, the other married guys I asked about this faulted their wives for the lack of back-end-activity. "There's a harness collecting dust right now in the upper reaches of my wife's closet," one guy said to me. And I know that's true for at least one other married guy too.

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Dear Em & Lo,

I am a 26-year-old lady and I love sex. I feel like I am addicted to it. If it were up to me, I'd do it five times a day just over and over and over. Also, my boyfriend lives far away; we only see each other once or twice in a week, so I masturbate like every night. Is that normal?

--Dirty Bird


Dear D.B.,

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh god YES!

We're not shrinks, but it doesn't sound to us like you're addicted. Just imagine a guy asking the same question! Most guys we know masturbate about as often as they floss (at least, the ones with excellent dental hygiene habits do). Masturbating every day is good for you! It puts a smile on your face, it reduces stress, it can help lessen the symptoms of PMS, it pretty much always ends up in an orgasm for you, and it's 100 percent guaranteed not to give you an STD! (assuming you're not using someone else's sex toy or rubbing your hands all over your oral herpes and then putting them down your pants)...

10.29.2008  BY EM & LO
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Photo: Samuel Goldwyn Films/Courtesy Everett Collection

  • Glamour.com gathers 25 first date do's and don'ts from their relationship-writer pals. Yours truly contributed Don'ts #19, 22, and 24, cause we always like to focus on the negative. Love, love, love the photo they chose to go with Don't #19 (above).
  • Smitten wants to know "how you first learned about sex." Actually, they want to know how you first learned about intercourse. Most parents don't talk about sex and all its wonderful (and horrible) possibilities; they just talk about intercourse: "insert tab A into slot B and 9 months later out comes a baby." And that's exactly how our messed-up thinking about intercourse being the be-all end-all of sex acts begins. 

What do you think of intercourse while standing up?; daily bedpost; Dive Bar; em and lo; hot and heavy; impertinent question; intercourse; make love; sex; shower sex; standing; support; tiring; uncomfortable; walking; Wall; What do you think of intercourse while standing up?

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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City.

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