9 Comments

Dave W said:

I'd be interested to hear from bisexuals on this. I myself voted for #1. Something about her sentiments makes me uncomfortable. She values the heatlthy relationship she's built so far with her boyfriend, and without an agreed-upon arrangement in place, it sounds like she's having thoughts of cheating. I can't quite absolve her just because she uses the term "that part of my sexuality". Couldn't any cheater use this as a rationalization?
Now, maybe she needs to be in a more open relationship. I won't judge her for that. But it would probably help for her to determine what her needs truly are.

said:

Why isn't there an option for "talk to him about it before you make any decisions"?

If she's really bi (and since she apparently hasn't slept with a woman yet that's still open to question) then she's most likely going to be unhappy (in the long run) being monogamous. But since they've only been together a year, it's probably not going to be the end of the world if she decides to take some time and figure herself out.

I've never understood why people expect bisexuals to be any more into threesomes than heteros or gays- the actual bi people that I know tend to still want to have monogamous relationships, with the only difference being that they have a greater pool of people that they're attracted to.

Littleshot said:

These polls are always full of false dichotomies.

male with bi girl said:

As a straight guy who's been on the other side of this, I can tell you, openness is the way to go.

Complicated? Awkward? What's so complicated or awkward about polyamory? You get to date other people, you be honest and open about it, and what's good for the goose is good for the gander. That last piece is important: if you get to have a girlfriend on the side, then he does too. Being bi doesn't make double-standards ok.

Just make sure everyone gets tested for STDs regularly, and that your flings know that you have someone else as your "primary" partner. Be fair to them, too.

As long as it's fair and honest, if he's as supportive as you say, he may surprise you. The other options are that you lie by cheating on him, or you lie by hiding it. Either way, it will destroy what you have. Being open is the only option, really.

Having been in a few poly relationships, I wouldn't have it any other way, even if we're all 100% straight.

LoveRosa said:

Being Bi doesn't mean you can't be faithful. Being Bi means your attracted to both sexes. Just because your attracted to both sexes doesn't mean you must have both at one time, while your in a committed relationship. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You must choose. If however you consider alternative lifestyle, I would recommend you and your boyfriend have and open honest talk about what each of your expectations and limitations are.
Good Luck!

Olivia said:

Jen, I take issue with "if she's really bi, she's probably going to be unhappy (in the long run) with monogamy." for those of us who are mono-oriented, it's either/or, not both/and. i know this has gotten said already on this thread, but bisexuality is always getting a crummy rap for being "indecisive" "trendy" "slutty" or "in denial" and so it's a bit of sore point.
she's got to see where the boyfriend is at. a threesome is unlikely to answer any questions for her (although it could always just be fun...threesomes are fun....very cuddly...) and it seems like she is unsure of exactly what she needs to do to feel satisfied in her sexuality. this doesn't sound like a poly person in a monogamous relationship, though.

Talk. talk talk talk. that's the only way.

M C L said:

Hello,

Start by saying - " You Go Girl "

Having the honest beleif that ,what you do , and who you do , and where it is you choose to do it .
This is the " RIGHT " we all have.So the fact you want to try and see the possibilities -is - '' A W E S O M E ".

The boy issue: [ Even though the ] -{ what he does'nt know , won't hurt him } idea flies with some .

Honesty is still the best policy. Before you just dump the dude .

Tell him - " You Need This For ---- Y O U !

If he truely accepts and cares about you , then all will be open to it .

Only remember , Its your issue to work on . Iif at some point you decide to include him - only you can say .

I want you to do whats right for --- you --

He needs to let it happen . Not because its ok , but because - its how it should be .

Do this sooner than later , for the longer you put it off - the more blown out of proportion it will become.

Even if you call it an - Open Relationship-

Its the understanding and support that makes all the difference .

By allowing yourself the freedom -you inturn have set yourself , the relationship , and your future - Fun - to be F R E E.

Only when you let something go , can you see if it was meant to be. For if it returns , the ansewer is directly in front of you .

Be Bold , Don't Look Back, and Give it the attention it deserves.

SEX is best when you beleive in the fact that - anything is possible.

Now - ACT ON IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!

He needs to give you that -------

Time will tell ,if there is more to what you have shared to this point .

NEVER - EVER DENY -- WHAT YOU NEED -FOR the

- F E A R -

of what
- Might BE !


FEAR IS : False Evidence Appearing Real .


Any more questions or comments please feel free to contact me at : [email protected]


Until then - Dive in and enjoy the best of both worlds - Darling !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


M C L

said:

While you are lusting for that certain "delight" understand YOU WILL CHEAT!WHY One More Kiss? Because you know you ve been wanting it and it if you ever did it,it will far long before you realize you even had a boyfriend! However, has he ever consider you to be a bi-sexual?Only you know him better than I do and that could help you along the Sex Listed way.Love is one thing and SEX is a whole new world, you have to choose what it Flirt Commando is you really want.Please be SURE and dont have any regrets.Dont break-up with him over no bull...like this.If he cant take the hookup sites truth---there are more fish in the sea!Some men dont like to share. Keep it real from this day forward free dating websites with people you are interested in.

said:

How about another option? Try to devise -- and agree upon -- a simple arrangement, AKA an open relationship. Why the assumption that non-monogamous relationships have to be "complicated"?

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