This week's bucket list edition goes out to our friend Susan, who "really wants to go to an orgy before I die." Here's how to do it right...

Top Ten Tips on Attending a Sex Party

1. Avoid any sex party--or "play party," as the kids these days like to call them--that doesn't have any rules. Seriously, do you really want to be groped while waiting in line for the bathroom? Rules mean that you get to say who, you get to say where, and you get to say when, just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

If you don't have a sexual bucket list, then you should! Your bucket list is a handful of acts, dares, events, positions, etc., that you want to try before you die. Got a good sex-related item on that list? Then we want to hear it! Email us at bucketlist@dailybedpost.com. We'll pick our favorites and give you a few tips on how to live it out when the time is right.

Dear Em & Lo,

I am a teenager in a new relationship with a guy a year older than me. I have never done anything besides kiss with a guy, and I know that he is definitely not a virgin. I don't think I am ready to do anything with him, and I know he is going to try something soon. How do I address the fact that I am not ready to do anything sexually with him? I'm afraid that if I tell him I don't want to do anything, he might get mad and breakup with me, but I'm hoping he's not that kind of guy. I need help!

Under Pressure


Dear U.P.,

Do NOT to do anything you don't want to do--it's that simple. Just tell him you really like him and like hanging out with him, but you want to take things slowly and you're not ready to do anything beyond kissing at this point. If he gets mad and wants to break up with you, then you should break up with him! If you know you're not ready to get physical, he should respect that. If it's a deal breaker for him, so be it. You'll feel better if you stay true to yourself without him than you'll feel if you get pressured into betraying yourself WITH him. And don't buy any lame excuses from him about everyone else doing it, blue balls, doing it for love, or doing it for your country (see above YouTube vid). You have plenty of time to explore things sexually as you get older, become more mature, and find the right guy(s) to experiment with in your adult life. Don't let some jerk rush you into anything before then.

Good luck!
Em & Lo

Dear Em & Lo,

I'm a 25-year-old virgin with limited dating experience. I'm getting out into the dating world, slowly but surely. I know that regardless of my experience level with sex, I should talk to a prospective partner about sex and protection prior to diving into anything. But I'm hesitant to share that I'm a virgin. Do I owe it to a guy to fess up before we do the deed? Or can I keep mum about it?

--Sandra Dee

Dear S.D.,

Forget about the guy for a second, you owe it to yourself to fess up. You're going to have a lot of sex in the years to come, both good and crappy, but you're only going to lose your virginity once. So why try to make it feel like every other time?

We just received this doozy of an advice request and felt unable to make a definitive call (read: we're lazy), so we're leaving it up to the masses to decide--answer her question by filling out the poll after the jump:

Dear Em and Lo,

Well, the inevitable has happened: after eight months of dating, I finally dropped the bomb...the "L" bomb, that is. After reading countless "When is the right time to say I love you?" articles, I threw all caution to the wind and just said it (I was drunk, he was stone cold sober). "I Love You!"

Oh Christ, what just happened? Did that just come out of my mouth? And during sex!? I know I broke the rules: I was drunk and he was inside me but...yes, it did. So I focus on him, see how he is handling it: crickets. Nothing. Nada. No retaliation whatsoever. I'm not sure if the nausea that followed was from the alcohol or the humiliation. I mean, I've said it before but in code, such as, "What did the one volcano say to the other? I Lava You." He said without hesitation, "I Lava You Too," like he knew exactly what I was trying to say without actually saying it.

I swallowed my pride the next day and (soberly) said that even though I was drunk I meant it. Still nothing. I asked why oh why he didn't reply. He said it's because he's just not fond of saying it. He can't verbally communicate those three little words that every girl in love craves to hear. He's said it in the past and it hasn't worked out. Every excuse in the book, ladies, every one. But he says, "I know I don't say it but you know I love you right?" later in the week.

The problem, among many, is that I'm a very verbal person. Very loud and very verbal. I'm not sure if I can handle him not saying it. Is that wrong? Maybe I've read too many Nicholas Sparks novels, but shouldn't he be shouting it from the rooftops? Believe me ladies, the chapters I've highlighted in "He's Just Not That Into You" are blinking in my mind like semi-truck headlights. I don't have the time or the outbox space to tell you how great our relationship is otherwise. But is that it? Is he just not in love with me back? Or has the cat really got his tongue?

Sincerely,
The L Word

What do you think?...

Hi there,
 
I always want to have anal sex with my girlfriend who is 19 (23 years younger than me). I have followed some instructions and tried a few times but have not made it. The problem is that I just can't get in there, though I used lube and she has not resisted. Any advice about that? Furthermore, I am much keen to kiss and lick her anus but she thinks I am weird. Is the act normal?
 
Thanks,
Bummed Out

Dear B.O.,

You sound like a very polite man, so we'll do our best to ignore the mild ickiness we're feeling about advising a 42-year-old man on popping his girlfriend's backdoor cherry. But just to put our minds at ease, will you please pinkie-promise us that she wants this as much as you do? Because "she has not resisted" isn't quite doing it for us.

Anyway. Onto the anal action. We don't have the space here to get into all of the ins and outs of going in the butt--it would take an entire book to answer all your questions in full. But here are ten things we think are most relevant to your particular case...

Dear Em & Lo,
I read your "Sex Advice Review: Worst Booty Call Tips Ever" with amusement and agreement. But what are YOUR booty call tips, for a woman?  
Thanks,
Keeping it Casual

Dear K.I.C.,

Wow, where to start? We could go on all day about booty call etiquette (in fact, we have: Check out our book Sex Etiquette for Ladies and Gentlemen if you want the unabridged version of our answer). But here are just a few highlights that we think are particularly pertinent to the ladies:

• A regular booty call partner can be much more satisfying for a woman than a string of one-night stands, because it usually takes a few sessions to teach a new man the various routes to your happy place. And if you're not demanding orgasms from your casual sex, then you're kinda missing the point, aren't ya?

Dear Em & Lo,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half solid years and then we were on and off for another year or so. I moved on to a kid I had been dating during the 'off' time with my previous boyfriend. I was fine and having a great time with my new boy until about a week ago when I found out my ex-boyfriend moved on as well. Obviously, I didn't expect him to wait around for me but I guess it just hit me that we were now over. For real. Now the ex-BF is all I think about. Am I really not over him, or do I only care because I found out he moved on? I assume these feelings I have toward him will eventually pass and I'll be able to move on for good, because the kid I'm now seeing is great, but I don't have much experience in the break-up department. Any tips?

--Not As Over Him As I Thought