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We haven't seen author and filmmaker Ian Halperin's newest documentary, His Highness Hollywood, in which he "infiltrates L.A. casting rooms and befriends several A-list actors and industry people by posing as a gay actor who's a member of the so-called 'Israeli Royal Family.'" Sounds juicy, no? But honestly that's not what piqued our interest about the film (despite Em's shameless addiction to her US Weekly subscription). No, it was these few lines in the press release:
He then ends up in a top Hollywood acting school, gets put into shape by Usher's personal trainer and is cast for several major film roles, all while infiltrating The Church of Scientology. Then the Church of Scientology offers him a "cure" for his homosexuality. Inside the Church, Halperin meets several celebrities who joined Scientology who give him the scoop on the gay rumors surrounding several of the Church's high profile members, including John Travolta and Tom Cruise. One longtime Scientologist tells Halperin who Travolta's longtime ex male lover was and how Scientology pressured Travolta to marry actress Kelly Preston and turn straight. "If you don't give up being gay the Church threatens to publicly reveal your most intimate secrets that they have recorded during their process of auditing," one notorious member of Scientology told Halperin.
Now that's some good trash. His Highness Hollywood is out on DVD this month.

10.21.2008  BY EM & LO

We just caught the trailer for the Swedish film Let the Right One In and it looks like the sweetest, most romantic, most adorable little bloody vampire horror flick ever. Pubescent, bullied, misfit boy falls in love with new girl next door, except she turns out to be undead -- even Romeo and Juliet didn't have it that bad! We doubt (we hope) there's no sex in it (they're only 12 years old, after all), but we're sure the vampirism is, at least in part, a metaphor for budding sexuality. Being suckers (sorry) for a good vampire flick, we thought Twilight looked good, but this looks ten times juicier (sorry again). It opens this Friday in New York and L.A.

Photo via Jezebel

Remember last year when bloggers everywhere (including, er, us) got all excited that George Clooney was spotted leaving an apartment carrying a purple Liberator Sex Ramp? It was just further proof that Georgie boy is perfect--no sex toy shame for him! And then last night we saw the new Coen Brothers film, Burn After Reading, and realized that he was only shooting a scene (ah, that would explain the strange pants). But we refuse to let go of the dream! Let's start a rumor that George stole that sex ramp from the props room and uses it to this day.

That said, we're not sure we'll be fantasizing about the other sex toy that has a starring role in Burn After Reading: George's character builds a reclining sex chair in his basement, complete with a mechanical dildo. It's kind of a mad scientist's take on the "sit on this and swivel" insult. Do you know any woman who could actually get off this way? (We mean, assuming that the sex chair in question wasn't actually located in George Clooney's basement...)

Clooney's character explains to his Internet date, played by Frances McDormand, that he saw one in a "gentleman's magazine" and was horrified at the price, so he built his own with Home Depot supplies and a pink Silky dildo by Vibratex (okay, so the sex chair may be scary, but at least the dildo is phthalate-free!).

08.18.2008  BY EM & LO

A while back, during a discussion of full-frontal male nudity in films (and more specifically full frontal male nudity in fight scenes in films), 1989's sex(ist) comedy Skin Deep starring the late John Ritter was our pick for the movie with the best roles for two penises in cinema history. Sadly, we couldn't find the clip in question on YouTube -- at least not in English. But luckily, padams24 shares our sick sense of humor and recently posted the scene in all its English language glory. Enjoy!

06.11.2008  BY EM & LO

Last year, and teamed up to compile "The 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema" history. Great fun (despite the horrible navigation that makes you almost just want to rent each video and fast-forward to the sex scenes yourself). But you know what's even better than the best scenes? "The 50 Worst Sex Scenes in Cinema," of course. Well, they've done the dirty work again and come up with a doozy of a list. We'd say they're almost all spot on, from Showgirls to Eyes Wide Shut to Wild Things, and they especially nailed it with their choice for #1 worst sex scene of all time. (Can you guess? Here's a hint: it ain't vegan.) The only one we really take exception with is the Model T sex scene from Titanic (rated #48). Okay, it's not great (that hand slap against the glass is way too staged), but one of the worst? Come on, have they no sense of romance? Plus, it was one of the last times Leonardo diCaprio was pretty-boy hot. That's gotta count for something.

06.05.2008  BY EM & LO

Photo via IDS

If you're a regular around these here parts, you know we're not afraid of the word "feminism." (Or maybe you could just guess from our previous post.) Maybe that dates us, what with the young'uns these days thinking that feminism=man-hating (bless 'em), but as long as ladies still aren't earning the same as gents for the same job, we think the term is still useful. And so are sites like Feministing, one of our faves (read a couple of posts and you'll want to take to the streets and riot!). But we can see how gals writing to gals about the shit end of the stick we gals sometimes get may be a bit preaching-to-the-choir. Which is why we heart feminist males. Not that we need a man to legitimize our cause or anything, but when men speak out about their fellow men behaving badly, we can't help but think they may be able to convert a few more dudes to the pink side. Take Ramin Setoodeh and his Newsweek article "Sexism and the City", in which he criticizes all the unjustified hatin' guys feel entitled to let loose on anything deemed purely female. We're not even big "Sex and the City" fans and he made even us want to defend Carrie's disgusting shoe habit! (Okay, that's our last post on SATC, we swear.)

05.28.2008  BY EM & LO

05.28.2008  BY EM & LO

Teeth, the movie "we won't see so you'll have to," is being released in the U.K. on June 20th. Promoters have created a mock support site called Vagident, for "understanding one of the rarest female conditions." Because of our own irrational queasiness with the fantastical subject matter (intellectually we love the idea it represents, viscerally we're totally grossed out by it), we can hardly bear to peruse the site's FAQs (1. I think I may have Vagina Dentata, but I'm unsure who I should see--a dentist or a gynaecologist?) and Myths vs. Facts ("Myth #2. Queen Elizabeth I had Vagina Dentata and castrated Thomas Seymour, earning the moniker of the "Virgin Queen"). Despite our delicate sensibilities, it's pretty funny, albeit subtle stuff. In fact, it's so subtle, we're afraid more than a few British 'tweens and teens will take the site at face value and think this is an actual condition. In an age when plenty of young adults still think it's possible to get pregnant by swallowing semen, you know there's bound to be a few kids who'll now self-diagnose themselves with a mild case of vagina dentata.

Baby-faced Brit Justin Ribeiro dos Santos is one of the nicest guys in porn you'll ever met. Actually, he's one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, period: he's polite, he's in a healthy stable relationship, and he's close with his mum (in fact, she's typed up some of his porn scripts for him)--not exactly the image that comes to mind when you think "adult film producer." But take one look at the mission statement of his company, Joybear Pictures, and you know his heart is definitely in the right place:
Fact: Most women don't like it when a guy comes all over their face. Fact: Most women don't just want pounding anal sex. Fact: Most women find porn-stars unconvincing and unappealing...The biggest problem for women is most of the material available just doesn't hit the spot. Passionless performances, cringe-worthy soundtracks, and tasteless branding all rank high on the long list of porn turn-offs. In our films we try really hard to remove the sleaze and instead focus on capturing sexually charged moments for your enjoyment.
His DVDs are only available in the U.K., but you Yanks can download them from
Em & Lo: Describe for us a typical work day for you (when you get up, things you might do during the day, meetings you might have, etc.).

Justin of Joybear: Normally, before a shoot, I conduct castings to meet the talent and make sure that they're not hiding any crazy scars or shark bites that I should be aware of. One day, my other half was working from home, which coincided with a casting. The male performer asked her if she'd prefer him with or without an erection. You see, people in my industry are so accommodating!

If I'm not shooting then typically I get up, feed Sprat (the cat), change her litter, make Tan (the girlfriend) a cup of tea, change her litter (just kidding), do some laundry and prepare breakfast for us both before a long day in the office--that's right...the crazy life of a porn baron.

What do you think would surprise people most about your day job?...


Hollywood is bad for your sex life. Sure, the big screen is all about fantasy and escapism, but it's hard not to watch impossibly perfect 20-foot-high sex without feeling a little insecure about your squinty orgasm face (to say nothing of those dying cow noises you can't help but make in the throes of passion). So in this month's March issue of Glamour, we outline the 8 big sex myths propagated by the mainstream film industry to make you all feel better about your sexual capabilities. (Standing-up shower sex? Uh, we don't think so). The editors over at The Glam have also added a slideshow of famous sex scenes rated either "Realistic" or "Unrealistic"--see if you agree.

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Do Before You Die
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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City.

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