LO: Wanna see the new indie movie Teeth?
EM: No way! Do you??
LO: Hell no!
EM: Why don't YOU want to see it?
LO: I feel like I should WANT to see it, like I SHOULD see it for occupational reasons, but I hate to say the idea of it just grosses me out and makes me feel icky, like nails on a chalkboard or paper towels squeaking on glass.
EM: Paper towels squeak on glass?! It seems to me like it'd be the worst of Juno (overly cutesy, impressed-with-itself indie) meets the worst of Tarantino (shock & gore). There are multiple decapitated penises featured...and they show them! (Is decapitated the right word for that??) In one scene, apparently, the dog grabs the severed penis. DUDE.

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A few weeks back we nominated the complete absence of "shmamortion" in the movies as the bad sex idea of 2007. (Little did we know then that life would be imitating art in the uterus of Jamie Lynn Spears.) But it didn't start with Knocked Up, Juno, and Waitress; as our friend Josh Glenn notes in his Boston Globe blog, the "Papa don't preach, I'm keeping my baby" has been around since, well, since mid-eighties Madonna. In case you'd forgotten just how many pregnancy scare plotlines 90201 and Melrose Place puked out between them, Josh has put together a timeline of unplanned pregnancies, abortions, and conveniently timed miscarriages in U.S. pop culture since the seventies. And it turns out that each decade features a distinct M.O. for characters facing an unwanted pregnancy.

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Yesterday's post on the most intriguing sex ideas of the year (at least according to the editors of the Times) inspired us to nominate our first annual Bad Sex Idea of the Year. And the  unanimous winner is...(yep, that's one vote from Em and one vote from Lo)...something that starts with an "A" and rhymes with "shmamortion"! Oh wait, no, that'd be Hollywood's choice for bad sex idea of the year. Because without the A-word, there'd be no Knocked Up, no Juno, and no Waitress. But how about this for a terrible idea: having a baby in your 20s with an unemployed, broke, illegally residing, aw-shucks pothead you met on a one-night stand just as your high-powered career in television is taking off.

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Last week, when we heard LL Cool J refer to a whole slew of full-frontal fight scenes, like the one in Eastern Promises, we were hard-pressed (as it were) to recall just a handful of decent penis parts in Hollywood movies, violent or otherwise. But a friend just reminded us of the best all-nude, all-male fight scene in cinematic history.

LO: So, remind me again why we wanted to see The Brave One?
EM: Um, because we wanted to see Jodie Foster kick ass?
LO: Haven't there been a few articles about the make-up of the audiences...mostly women over 30? Or about its feminist implications?
EM: Yeah apparently more than 70% of the audience was 30 or older, and more than half of that group was female, which is apparently pretty rare for a violent, urban film. Do you think it has feminist implications?
LO: I think those numbers suggest that we gals like to see depictions of once-abused women taking matters into their own hands, being mad as hell and not taking it anymore, being strong and tough and taking down the bad guys. Maybe it's because we saw all those Farrah Fawcett movies when we were little, like The Burning Bed and Extremities.
EM: Plus, it's like psychic revenge for her Accused character. They definitely gave her plenty of cheesy bad-guy payback lines, like "Unlock the door or I'll be the last super-cunt you'll ever see," and "Who's the bitch now?!"