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 BY FILLING OUT THIS FORM NOW! Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, it does: A new proposed rule from the Dept. of Health and Human Services would, according to Planned Parenthood, "allow federal funding that is specifically designed to prevent unintended pregnancy and promote reproductive health to instead be used by facilities and providers that refuse to offer comprehensive birth control and reproductive health care services." Specifically, this means redefining hormonal birth control methods like the Pill as forms of abortion (!), allowing anti-choice medical professionals to deny women access to contraception. There's a great summary of the proposal at RH Reality Check. Whether you take the time to read about this outrageously shameful proposal, make sure you speak out against it now by filling out a quick Internet form--Planned Parenthood's homepage is dedicated to one right now (it's that important), and NARAL's got one too.
 Photo via HeroBuilders.com Here's news that should shock nobody: A recent study (okay, it was conducted by Match.com, so let's call it a "study") found that most people think Obama would be a better kisser than McCain. In fact, the only shocking thing, as far as we're concerned, is that 23 percent of the people polled voted for McCain. Seriously, people? We can see how you might think McCain would be more interesting in bed (when you pit Obama's "inexperience" against McCain's "straight talk"), but a good kisser? Like we've said before, we think McCain's face looks like it belongs to one of those babies with that disease that ages them decades before they can even walk. Could you kiss that?! Okay, so let's conduct a "study" of our own: Which presidential candidate do you think is the dirtiest in bed, and which one probably favors missionary with the lights off? ( polls)
 We never thought we'd live to see the day when fashionistas would enlighten us with a concept more ridiculous than "toe cleavage." (People, it even has its own Wikipedia entry! What is wrong with this world?!? Now the rest of us have to feel dirty every time our shoes accidentally show a little toe crack.) Then again, we kind of knew that we would. In fact, we almost can't believe that it took those fashionistas so long to come up with the new trend of butt cleavage. Is this officially the moment that fashion has become a caricature of itself? We're reminded of that terrible 1981 comedy starring Ryan O'Neal called So Fine in which a wardrobe malfunction leads to a new, utterly idiotic fashion trend: jeans with a see-through cellophane ass. 
 Last week our friends over at Elastic Waist were experimenting with Luna Beads, which supposedly "exercise your hooha," as they put it (hey, "vajayjay" is so 2007). It's all about strengthening your pelvic floor, because strong pelvic floor muscles can improve your orgasms now and help keep you out of the incontinence aisle later in life. What's not to love? We're a tad skeptical about the balls, just because we find it hard to believe that your pelvic floor could just exercise itself like that (it sounds a bit like a late-night-TV special offer to us), but we're all for accessorizing your pelvic floor workout if it helps you stick to a regimen. You may have better luck, though, with a vaginal barbell--it'll give you something to grip against while doing your kegel exercises.
 Even though we're back stateside from London, we unfortunately couldn't make any Gay Pride parades yesterday. Looking at all the pictures and articles today from both the New York and San Fran events makes us bummed we missed such obviously fun public parties. It makes us want to get dressed up outrageously more (not just on Halloween), it makes us want to invest in glitter, it makes us so happy for such loving couples to finally tie the knot, and it makes us a little bit verklempt to see little kids with rainbow balloons dancing and smiling who have no idea what homophobia means. How could anyone be opposed to this?! Okay, maybe the skin-tight gold lame thongs are a bit much for the young'ns, but it's no worse than what they see on the covers of women's and gossip mags on line at the grocery store. Intellectually, we get why some people feel they have to follow irrational religious decrees and why others' pea-sized brains can't grasp how something so wrong for them could be so right and, yes, natural for others; but emotionally, we just don't get it. Why infringe on anyone else's happiness? And frankly, who wouldn't want to put on a wig and some sparkly makeup and rollerskate on a sunny afternoon? Protest all you want, but you know that just like everyone has a feminine side and an inner alpha dog, there's also a little gay diva in everyone just dying to get out.
 Did you know that half of all unintended pregnancies are as a result of contraception failing or people not using their chosen method of contraception properly? That's why, when you look at sites like Planned Parenthood, they will tell you the effectiveness of a method when it's used either correctly or typically. We bet that when you hear statistics like this, you think, "Oh, that's just dumb teenagers who put on condoms inside out. I'm definitely in the 'correctly' category." Well, think again. Let's take the Pill, for example, as it's probably the method most of you take--and it's also probably the method you think of as being least likely to "fail." When tests were done with computerized pill packs, researchers found that women missed three times as many pills as they thought.
 Photo via Splash In not exactly shocking news, a recent survey found that women have more regrets than men when it comes to one-night stands. And the even less shocking explanation behind these results? Despite all our good advice to the contrary, most women continue to go into one-night stands hoping they will lead to a relationship (and men continue to let them think this might be the case). According to the survey, 80 percent of men and only 54 percent of women feel good after a one-night stand. The men tended to report feelings of sexual satisfaction, well-being, and improved self-confidence, while the women were more likely to feel used, ashamed, or as if they had let themselves down. Jeez, what is this, the 1950s?! People, if we could all be a little more honest with each other, there'd be a lot more cheer in the world of casual sex. And this goes for you, too, ladies: how many times have you lied to yourself or a guy and said you're not expecting the sex to lead to anything? Another positive outcome: there would be fewer cases of women going to jail after seeking revenge via cattle branding on dudes who don't call after a one-night stand. Which is why we've always been fans of what we call the prenook: this is the casual sex equivalent of a prenup that verbally outlines both parties' expectations of the encounter.
 Next time you're engaging in some, er, "after hours" Googling, you might just be doing your bit to contribute to the definition of obscenity in America. At least that's what a defense lawyer in a Florida obscenity trial is hoping. Here's the deal: when determining whether sexually explicit material is obscene, judges and jurors are supposed to make the decision based on whether the material violates "community standards." And this sneaky lawyer wants to use Google search data to prove that community standards are a little looser than people might admit to in church on a Sunday. He's defending a porn site operator in Pensacola, Florida, and he discovered that residents of that town are more likely to Google the term "orgy" than either "apple pie" or "watermelon." (What, nobody takes along home-made apple pies to orgies anymore?) But before you uproot yourself and move down to the Sunshine State, consider this: when it comes to Pensacola's Google search data, "orgy" is in turn out-ranked by both "Nintendo" and "Nascar." Now that's obscene.
 Have you ever wondered what we'd all sound like in bed if we'd never seen a porno orgasm? We reckon there'd be a lot more soft whimpering and a lot less hair-tossing and moaning. Also, we've always suspected that a lot of women's orgasmic emoting is for the sake of the one-man audience. Hey, it's true in the chimp world! Scientists who spent months recording chimp sex sounds in the world (no, seriously) have discovered that female chimps give it their best Meg Ryan performance when they have a male audience. But if it's just lady chimps watching, they're a lot less vocal. Also, the more high-ranking the male, the louder the lady chimp sex noises became. And yes, we know this is a photo of baboons. Hey, good chimp porn is hard to find. [via boingboing]
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In one sense, revenge sex—when you sleep with your ex's nemesis, roommate, sibling, parent, or pet in order to pay them back for dumping you--totally works: how could your ex not be grossed out / horrified / disillusioned / damaged for life? But unless your ex is a few peas short of a casserole, your cunning plan is sure to backfire, because they'll know exactly why you slept with their paste-eating dork of a sibling, and the most overwhelming emotion they will feel is deep, abiding pity for you.
--From Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped 
 
Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are
the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New
York City.
Send your queries to us at
emandlo@dailybedpost.com and drkate@dailybedpost.com. Want your sex dream analyzed by the Daily Bedpost dream expert? Email us at dreams@dailybedpost.com. Anonymity always honored! Check out Daily Bedpost on MySpace.com. |
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