10.03.2007  BY EM & LO
We have a special place in our hearts (amongst other vital organs) for Sherri Williams: the owner of an Alabama sex toy store, she has been fighting her state's ban on sex toys since the law was enacted in 1998 (which was, ahem, the year Em first discovered sex toys...let's give thanks for the Internet). And yes, you read right, 1998: this isn't an antiquated law Williams is trying to scrape off the books, it's a shiny new law to keep all good vibrations out of Alabama. Sadly, her 9-year legal battle hit a dead-end in the Supreme Court this week.

Here's the story in a nutshell: The 1998 Alabama law makes it illegal to buy or sell sex toys for anything other than "medical purposes." It's legal to own and use toys that you bought out-of-state, but it's burn-in-hell illegal to advertise, sell, or buy a toy in Alabama if it's meant purely for pleasure. (Viagra, of course, is still 100% legal.) Your first offense can get you a year in jail and a $10k fine; your second offense can earn you up to a decade in the 'Bama slammer. (There are similar laws in Georgia, Mississippi, and, of course, Texas, as we lament in our Home Shopping Network spoof.) The Supreme Court declined to hear Williams's case this past Monday, which means that a lower court ruling that upheld the ban (for the sake of "public morality," we shit you not) still stands. Williams is planning on suing again on First Amendment free speech grounds--but in the meantime, it looks like Alabama residents will have to continue to cross state lines to do their sex toy shopping. Catch up on the back story here, here, and here.

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In one sense, revenge sex—when you sleep with your ex's nemesis, roommate, sibling, parent, or pet in order to pay them back for dumping you--totally works: how could your ex not be grossed out / horrified / disillusioned / damaged for life? But unless your ex is a few peas short of a casserole, your cunning plan is sure to backfire, because they'll know exactly why you slept with their paste-eating dork of a sibling, and the most overwhelming emotion they will feel is deep, abiding pity for you.
--From Buh Bye: The Ultimate Guide to Dumping and Getting Dumped

Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City.

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