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Our recent haiku contest winners gave us a hankering for our own haikus, hence your weekly astro-romantical advice in 5-7-5: aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) If you make new friends, Don't tell them you like sploshing . . . Until you know them. taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) Jogging, squash, tennis -- Momentum will carry you Into bed and love. gemini (May 21st-June 21st) If you want to charm, Use your head to disarm them; Don't wear tight clothing. cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd) Much like a haiku, Give little away with words. Mystery is rad. leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd) Friends make good lovers. Not all friends want your booty. Proceed with caution. virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd) Ready, set, go, dude! Someone special -- or butt plugs -- Are at the finish. libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd) They say they're single. Who are you to believe them? Truth eludes us all. scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd) Friends are nature's lube, Greasing the way for more sex With new friends to come. sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st) You may be horny, But you've got to keep it real. One-night stands suck dog. capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th) You are smarty-pants. Hot-pants likes your tarty rants. Don't forget condoms. aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th) Organized events Are sexier than you think. Get involved; get laid. pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th) Like a leaf falling, Go your own unique way down, Others will follow. |
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