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...And other totally mean thoughts that we had over IM this morning. Don't hate us, please.

EM: Did you hear that one of Edwards's responses to the affair was "My wife was in remission at the time"?!!
LO: Yes, so lame.
EM: That obviously didn't make the poll below: "Well, she wasn't dying of cancer at the time, so what's the biggie?"
LO: Although, I must admit I was tempted to add the option "That's what happens when you don't marry within your beauty bracket." Not that I believe that, but you know some people are thinking it! So wrong. 
EM: It's like Clive Owen and his missus.
LO: I have a guy friend who's pretty good looking--in good shape, tall, chiseled features--who gets upset when he sees really good-looking women with guys who aren't so easy on the eyes because he thinks it upsets the equilibrium of the dating pool.
EM: Like Cate Blanchett and hubby. I think it's kind of sweet, though--I always assume it's true love when the beauty gap is so wide.

LO: I think the assumption is it works better when the dude is lower on the beauty scale, if you buy into the whole men are more visual and women are more aesthetically forgiving if there's a decent personality there.
EM: Also, funny looking dudes sometimes age very well. Remember what Patrick Dempsey used to look like?!
LO: It's like that line in Knocked Up about aging: "I get worse-looking and he [my husband] gets better-looking. It's so unfair." But I personally don't buy that women aren't interested in looks. Remember that study we mentioned a while back? And I'll admit, I'm constantly appreciating the hotness of my man.
EM: Aw. I also like other people appreciating the hotness of my man.
LO: Sometimes I make mine do jumpy ballet moves in his black boxer briefs because I think he looks so cute and good in them! So, any other thoughts about dating and mating outside your attractiveness bracket?
EM: I always assume, when I see a man with a much less attractive wife, that she mothers him and he likes it. Like, that's he a little boy who likes being taken care of and she's the grownup in the relationship.
LO: That's very Freudian of you.
EM: Actually, I once dated a guy who was kind of funny looking ("butt ugly" according to most of my friends) and I kind of liked it. I mean, I kind of liked the fact that people would look at us and wonder--and assume that we had amazing chemistry or something. How about you?
LO: I think chemistry and attraction happen on so many levels, and outward appearance is only one of them, and it's certainly not the most important level, so it's kinda lame to judge a couple by their cover, to look at them and say "WTF happened there?" Even though I'm guilty of doing it myself.
EM: Me too. It's a guilty pleasure, like seeing pics of celebs without makeup.
LO: It's the same way people automatically decide someone, especially a guy, is gay by the way they dress, or talk or their mannerisms. There are plenty of sweet, emotive, non-macho guys who are straight--I hate it when people say, "Oh, he's gay, fer sure." Lame.
EM: I guess I always just assume that Hollywood is more superficial than the rest of the universe, so it seems particularly striking when you see a beauty gap in a Hollywood couple. It makes me think I'd like to double-date them.
LO: You mean, if a star in Hollywood like Cate Blanchett or Hugh Jackman can marry down lookswise, that makes them extra cool and confident?
EM: Yep, it means they care about more than just how they'll look together on the cover of Us Weekly.
LO: Like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes do?
EM: Yeah, Tom I-stand-on-a-box Cruise. Or a step.
LO: Will people hate us if we publish this chat?
EM: Well, at least they won't hate us because we're beautiful.


Isis Uptown said:

My son, who is in his mid-20's, is considered very handsome, and though he always dates lovely young women, they aren't always in the same "beauty bracket" as he is. As my best friend said "If he wants pretty, he can look in the mirror." Thing is, he doesn't seem to choose women who mother him, he chooses women who challenge him.

I hope it's a sign I raised him well!

denny crane said:

I remember the first time around with edwards when we saw pix of her when they were young, long before the kids and thinking she was hot once. Bottom line is he's a dick, and 99% honest is still lying.

Kim said:

I admit the first time I saw Cate Blanchette's husband, I said "what the hell is she doing with him?"
But look at the way she looks at him, the girl is in love. So, good for them.


I agree. If you look at their wedding picture, he was skinny and awkward and she was beautiful. You never know how someone is going to look 20+ years down the line.

Jen said:

Isis- I think that it's a sign that you've raised him very well!

I find that the older I get (I'm 44 now), the less that I notice how people look. I've got friends with successful marriages who have crossed the "beauty gap", and friends where they're both extremely attractive (or not), who haven't. While it's nice being part of a good-looking couple, it's got to be one of the least important components of a relationship (as long as you're still attracted to each other!). Most of the extremely beautiful people that I've dated (I'm passable on my good days now) were actually dicks after a while (male and female).

Edwards was a scumbag, but I wasn't surprised- I take it for granted now that every politician is most likely a cheater (male or female). Being separated from your spouse most of the time (unless you're lucky enough to have them live with you while you're at work) doesn't help anyone. It seems to me after years of single motherhood and dating in my 30s that attractiveness has very little to do with infidelity- I've known lots of people with gorgeous spouses who still cheated.

Isis Uptown said:

A long time ago, one of my sisters was engaged to a man who cheated on her. When I was telling my husband about this man, my husband's response was "I can't imagine cheating on a hot girl like (my sister)!" My sister is a very good-looking, as was the man who cheated on her; he was cheating because he was the type who liked to see how much he could get away with.

risktakker said:

TO even blame this one Elizabeth or her beauty is horrible. It shows how shallow we are as a society.

Men and women will continue to cheat regardless or if they are politicians are not. Hopefully, we will all ick the ones whoa re faithful.
Ha ha,

Nacia said:

I think a lot of women would rather date a man who is not as attractive as her because women often associate cheaters with being very attractive. I think there is feeling of safety when you don't think a lot of women would want your man. I think those men also try to make up for their physical appearance by treating women with more respect and love.

As for men I think they date outside their beauty pool for the same reasons. Knowing that a relationship is based on other things besides beauty might make them value it more.

I don't know if that is the case for John Edwards, but maybe it was and he got tired of looking like Ken and not having Barbie in the bedroom.

love goddess said:

Beauty is incredibly subjective. When I saw the header of this article, I assumed Elizabeth was the 'beautiful' one and John Edwards the one 'below' her, then I realized the opposite was meant. Am I the only one who thinks she's (still) a beautiful woman?...let's not forget she is surviving cancer and still looking like this! I don't find John Edwards prettier than her at all.
Besides, according to this logic, he should have cheated with a woman more beautiful than Elizabeth...and that Rielle whatshername is a dawg for sure!

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