1. Curves are in! Britney Spears, Demi Moore, Christina Aguilera, Pink, Rihanna, Jordin Sparks, Perez Hilton...they all looked well nourished, confident and sexy (well, maybe not Perez).

2. Unfortunately, leotards are in, too. Rihanna and Pink were the worst offenders, while Katy Perry's short shorts got dangerously close to camel-toe territory; and while Christina Aguilera wasn't officially in a leotard, the spandex pants she wore for her "live" performance put her squarely in the middle of the '80s, and not in a good, ironic way. We think the "I just left the house and forgot to put my pants on" look suggests more insanity than sexiness.

3. Going pantless is not a purely female affliction, as Lil Wayne can attest. Squeezing your junk every few seconds, however, is all (inadequate or incontinent) male.

4. Use condoms or you'll become Republican

5. In a night of technical mishaps, uninspired acceptance speeches, horrible weaves, record producers in the audience so bored they just texted all night...there was only one thing that was truly hot, and it certainly wasn't Paris. Nope, it was Paramore. Their performance rocked!

6. Don't use chapstick as lube.

7. Not wearing a promise ring on your finger automatically makes you a "slut." (You should be ashamed of yourself.)

8. We should elect Barack Obama. (Don't think this has anything to do with sex? Think again.)

9. The most basic rule of pop music: You can't rhyme the word at the end of a line in the chorus with the same word in the very next line of the chorus. Yes, we're talking to you, Kid Rock. It's not right, it's not cool, it's not sexy. (Your hair doesn't help things, either.)

10. The best song in the world ever would be a cover of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" sung by The Jonas Brothers.

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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

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