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Dear Em & Lo,
 
A male acquaintance recently started a conversation about "ugly" vaginas with my friends and I. He said that some vaginas resemble "kebabs" and that a lot of guys are really put off sex when they get a hot girl naked and find that her vagina isn't as "neat" as they imagined it would be. It made me feel really self-conscious about my own, even though I never have been before. Anyways, as I have never really seen many vaginas before, I decided to Google "ugly vaginas." I was curious about what an ugly vagina actually is, and whether mine was one of them. Oh my god! I was shocked. What I thought was normal is actually "kebab-like"!!!! There were images of "beautiful" and "ugly" vaginas. The Vagina Institute in particular compares the two. The "beautiful" ones have plump outer labia and you can't see the inner labia poking out from them...but the ugly ones are just like mine, when you can see the inner lips slightly. It has made me feel so self-conscious. I hate to think of my ex and future partners being turned off by my vagina, especially as I try to keep it neat by trimming and waxing! Now I feel like growing a bush to try and hide my lips!! The horrible things is, I think when I was younger my vagina was more beautiful (I've seen the pictures of me running around naked on the beach as a child)...at least it looked more like the beautiful vagina pictures. It looked more like a little bottom than an adult vagina. Do you think that I have made it look worse by having lots of sex or something? Or is it just where I am older (I am 22 now). Can you have surgery on your vagina? I really want my inner lips to be made smaller. Is it possible? 
 
--"Ugly" Betty

Dear U.B.,

Oh man. Where do we start? We could write an entire book on this topic. And it would involve a lot of ranting and swear words. Let's try for the abridged version.

First of all, the bad news: We hate to say it, but yes, there are plenty of guys out there who, like your pal, use terms like "roast beef" or "kebab" to describe what they consider to be ugly vaginas. We wish we didn't live in this kind of world, but damn it, we do, and much as we'd like to lie to you and tell you that all guys are just happy to get access to any vagina, no matter what it looks like, we can't.

These same guys will probably tell you (if you ply them with enough drinks) that a so-called ugly vagina, where the inner lips protrude beyond the outer lips, looks that way because the woman has had too much sex. And this is why they find "imperfect" vaginas a turn-off--it makes them think the vagina has too much "mileage."

First of all, what the double-standard fuck? But second, they're flat-out wrong. Sex does not make your labia "grow." Let's say that one more time: The size and shape of a woman's labia has nothing to do with the number of notches on her bedpost.

But now the good news: Just because some guys think this way, doesn't mean you have to put up with it. Say no to vagina prejudice! Here are ten things you should know that may help you fight the good fight.

1. Even though seedy quack operations like the Vagina "Institute" (no link for them, they're assholes) will tell you that vaginas like yours are "abnormal," they're not. There's no such thing as abnormal when it comes to labes. (Okay, maybe if you could play hackysack with your inner labia, that would be a bit abnormal.) Labia come in all shapes and sizes. Most women's aren't symmetrical, and it's incredibly common for a woman's inner labia to protrude beyond the outer labia. (It's for this reason that we always use the terms "inner labia" and "outer labia" rather than "labia majora" and "labia minora," which falsely represent the scale).

2. You know the only place where the vast majority of vaginas do look "perfect" (i.e. the same)? Porn. And it's for the same reason that most of the ladies in porn have big boobs: It's a job requirement, so if they weren't born that way, they go under the knife to get that way. It stands to reason, therefore, that guys who watch a ton of porn are more likely to have strong (and wrong) opinions about your labia.

3. Yes, you can have surgery on labia. And NO, YOU SHOULD NOT EVEN CONSIDER DOING THIS. If you don't believe us, Dr. Kate says the same thing. Your labia are full of nerve endings. Every day we are inundated with letters from women saying they can't orgasm--and you want to lessen your chances?!! Labiaplasty (that's the "technical" term) to trim your inner lips definitely won't make sex feel better for you, and it definitely could make sex less pleasurable or even painful.

4. The more a guy is into you, the less likely he is to give a shit what your vagina looks like. Sure, there are some guys out there who have an unbending aesthetic preference, love be damned, just as there are some women out there who can't imagine sticking it out with a guy who's less than average-sized. But just as most women will overlook a man's size if they're in love with the man attached to that penis, so too will most men learn to love your labia. Hey, it's not the worst thing in the world to hold off on getting naked with a guy until you're sure he likes you for more than just your genitals.

5. We speak from personal experience here: One of us (we're a tad prudish so we won't tell you which one) has a classic "ugly" vagina, though she didn't know it was deemed so until a few years back. But you know what? She thinks it makes sex better. Like we said, the inner labia are chock-full of nerve endings, and they encase the clitoral head, which means that during intercourse, there's a whole lot more friction going on. Friction = stimulation = Big Os for her. So there, you vagina fascists.

6. You know what we think is ugly? That plucked-chicken look a vagina gets a few weeks after a full Brazilian (or sometimes even a few days after). Sure, maybe that makes us vagina fascists, too, but we're just saying is all: Back before people started taking it all off down there, nobody stressed out about their "ugly" vagina, so far as we know. We don't think you should opt for re-growth to "hide" your vagina--you've got nothing to be ashamed of--but you should know that nobody's vagina looks like a little girl's, with or without pubic hair. So stop trying!

7. And you know what? We're kind of glad that nobody's vagina looks like a little girl's. Who wants their vagina to look like a 7-year-old's? Or a little mini tushy on a kid? That's some fucked up shit!

8. Next time you're feeling self-conscious about a body part, do not Google it. The Web is overrun with horny 13-year-olds who have unlimited access to porn and very limited knowledge of real women.

9. Libraries are supposed to be "neat." Office cubicles are supposed to be "neat." A lawyer's center part is supposed to be "neat." Your labia are not.

10. If, like us, you wish we didn't live in this kind of world, then start changing it, one man at a time: Educate your guy friends. Don't sleep with men who make you feel self-conscious about your vagina. Do sleep with men who feel self-conscious about their penises. Educate your female friends. Love your vagina.

Yes, we just lit a patchouli-scented candle.

Em & Lo


47 Comments

The Stranger said:

There's no such thing as an "ugly" healthy vagina.

It doesn't exist.

Any man saying that a healthy vagina is "ugly" needs to be seriously slapped. Then again, they probably don't have a clue what to do when there is a vagina in front of them.

Z said:

A million and one reasons to love you, Em&Lo. This was classic, and fantastic, and so spot-on, and witty, I could kiss you both. One of my favorite posts of yours in a long time.

I'm aware that my enthusiasm appears to be bordering on creepy.

Anonymouse said:

Fantastic.

I'm a guy and I like vaginas (and women) of all shapes and sizes. As long as they are clean and neatly trimmed (too much hair gets in the way during cunnilingus) they are completely delicious.

John said:

To put it bluntly,
There ain't no such thing as an ugly vagina!

It is the women who has it that makes it ugly or nice. And I'm not talking about looks here.

Not to mention the silly guys who worry about this are pretty much ensuring that they have less of a chance of finding that special someone.

"Oh damm! I love her, I love her cats, her friends put up with me but she has a vagina I don't like so I'll have to drop her."

Did you hear the resounding slap of this guy's mother hitting him upside the head?

Lucky Lucky Girl said:

While for the most part, I have male lovers, I have had, and currently have, a female lover. She has a "neat" vagina. Everything little, tucked away, etc. I, on the other hand, have prominent inner labia. We talked about it one day (LONG after we started fooling around). She just kinda shrugged. "yeah, that's you" I've had a **mumble, mumble** few male lovers by now. Nobody has ever said anything about their size. I'm sure douche-y guys would say all sorts of terrible things that I refuse to repeat. The left is a little longer, they protrude almost an inch from my outer labia, and stretch even longer, maybe to two or so. Certainly there are things I'd change about my body, but my labia? Why?! I'm pretty enough in my own way, but no other part of me looks like a porn or movie star, why the hell should my labia look like they belong on a porn star? Anyway, they're fun just the way they are. :D I propose bitch slaps and celibacy to anybody who uses derogatory terms to describe labia.

k. said:

I think that - rather than googling "ugly vagina", she should look at erotic photography - specifically of beautiful, well-shot images of a variety of women with a variety of vaginas. When the entirety of a woman's form is celebrated, not just one part picked out and displayed like something from an anatomy textbook, you get a truer picture of what is "beautiful."

Jay said:

How can you possibly say that wear and tear doesn't affect a vagina? That just doesn't make sense logically. Anything that is overused will show some wear and tear....including something as sensitive as a vagina.

Chelsey said:

You guys are the friggin sh*t! The way ya'll took the subject on was awesome. Power to vaginas of all backgrounds everywhere! Yay!

Big Ed said:

U.G.: In my world there are no ugly 22 year-old vaginas. You definitely missed a good bitch-slap opportunity.

And, you can only imagine how bad he is in bed (clue: contrary to what he no doubt claimed, he definitely doesn't go down.)

The message to all who fear they are U.G.'s is do not share your beautiful vagina with stupid ignorant men, you'll only encourage them. Save it for nice cads like, um, me.

said:

oh my god. i had never even heard of "ugly" or "pretty" vaginas before. granted, i'm new to the sex scene since i'm relatively young. so, i went to this "vagina institute" (it can't even be real, they use incorrect grammar) and discovered that i have an "ugly" vagina...i thought all women's inner lips stuck out. apparently not. i feel like crying! even after all of the awesome truth em and lo write, and as much of a feminist as i am and never believe this shit. just goes to show how much the media really can affect someone. even though my boyfriend loves me and we have great sex, i'm going to paranoid as hell tonight.

babybubbles_99 said:

Kudos to Em & Lo for handling a frustrating topic in a true, whitty way without outright insulting those who have..umm...ridiculous opinions about female anatomy. You touched on a point I'd love for you to share elaboration on: men (and women too, I know) who use pornographic images as a standard of "real" beauty. It's forced and fake folks, not a standard upon which you should hold real women. Good for you if you like porn stars - just don't date regular women expecting porn stars (and vice versa for women who do this with men).

Love your vajayjay and find men who are FAR less shallow!

Em & Lo said:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! To the woman who wrote "i had never even heard of "ugly" or "pretty" vaginas before" -- please please please forgive us. We very nearly didn't answer this question online, because we knew there'd be some women out there who had -- fortunately -- never stopped to wonder if their labia were "normal" or not. And we didn't want to be responsible for spreading labia insecurity. In the end we decided that the number of women already freaked out by their labia probably outnumbered the women who hadn't heard of this prejudice. But to those in the latter category, we are truly sorry and we hope that the paranoia is passing.

miss_marie said:

Ok, this whole thing has made me giggle quit a bit since starting reading.
I completely agree with you guys. There is no ugly or pretty vaginas. Vaginas are like bodies, none are exactly the same.
I've actually had this discussion with my family before. My cousin asked all of us girls if our "coochie pop lips" are big.. LOL yes we call it a coochie pop. We all ended up saying yes.
I always watched porn so I thought mine were just weird because they were long. But thanks to you guys I know they're ok. Thank god no guy has ever said anything to me about them either. Most guys like them and like to play with them. But I guess I was wrong about that too.
To the guys who think that all women should have perfect small labia like porn stars. Well then date a porn star?

Denise said:

Never had my vagina called ugly in all this years. However if a guy ever calls my vagina ugly, not only will he be Bitch slapped, he will be kicked in balls on the way outta my bed!

Sam said:

Jay,

"How can you possibly say that wear and tear doesn't affect a vagina? That just doesn't make sense logically. Anything that is overused will show some wear and tear....including something as sensitive as a vagina."

That's stupid.
Does your penis change after you jack off so many times?

Vaginas are not stretched out by sex, just like penises are not squished...

Dummy.

said:

Maybe I just have better taste in porn than some guys, but looking at a lot of it showed me long ago the grand variety of female genitalia I'd likely not have experienced firsthand since I tend towards long relationships and few hookups. And here I am, surprised again - that men would find protruding or otherwise exotic inner labia a turnoff when so much porn centers (naturally, since it's where most of us would like to be) on the pleasures of seeing into that part of a woman. Nice big asymmetrical labia are also a sensory pleasure when going down - there is so much more to do, and more of her inside of you. Who wouldn't want this? I suspect the answer is men who secretly dislike or even resent doing this for their bed partners. Shame! Go and see a shrink, because you are missing out!

B said:

I'm male and I am stunned that this is even an issue. I have two things to say to all you ladies out there that have suddenly developed a complex about this: 1) There's nothing wrong with you regardless of what you (or some moron guy) are thinking so enjoy the way God made you and shrug off the insecurities; and 2) Any man (or should I dare say "boy") that puts that much superficial stock in how beautiful or ugly your vagina is doesn't deserve you in the first place. I've been a nudist for over 25 years and I have seen many bodys of all shapes and sizes, I have yet to see anything other than a woman beautiful in her own right. Just remember, ladies, for every idiot guy that has a hangup about what a vagina looks like, there are 20 others out there that do not care and do not let that stand in the way of their true feelings for their lover and mate. Kudos to EM and LO for handling this issue with so much grace.

Kerrance said:

To be honest i really don't think that the "ideal vagina" with the outer lips covering the inner looks any "prettier" than it being the other way round.
We all have different faces, different bodies and yes, different vagina's. Anyone who claims that there is a normal vagina in anyway is just shallow!

I used to be sooo paranoid about it but now after reading that it has made me feel far more confident :)
Thank you

Not Jay said:

Jay, a labia is not a vagina. Are your lips bigger now than they were last year? Nope, even after all that talking, eating, and drinking, your lips are the same size.

Guys, stop watching porn - it makes you idiots!

annoyed said:

To Jay.
"How can you possibly say that wear and tear doesn't affect a vagina? That just doesn't make sense logically. Anything that is overused will show some wear and tear....including something as sensitive as a vagina."
...
When a man uses this idiotic argument I prefer to ask, the last time you stuffed a double cheezburger into your mouth, did it honestly stay stretched out? Does it show wear and tear, my god, you use your mouth almost daily? Think about it and try not to sound so ignorant in the future.

Pretty Puss said:

When I was in my early 20's, I was definitely a bit insecure about my large labia, but after hearing my vagina described as "beautiful" by every lover I've ever had, I realized my perception was off kilter. Once I grew to appreciate and love my vagina's appearance, my sex life became that much more exciting and pleasurable. I'm now 50-years-old and still going strong!

It's all about confidence ladies! Love your large labia - they're a treasure for sure!

Labia Lover said:

Congratulations to EM and LO for a wonderful article, however they missed one aspect of this discussion and that is that some men, and I presume some women as well, love longer inner labia.

I love they way they look, there is more to stimulate, and more to play with. I have had two long-term partners with long inner labia and they have both said that they really enjoy the stimulation that their labia provide, both during intercourse and cunnilingus (there must be some potential here for an enterprising comedienne with a joke involving oral and sexual intercourse and pudendal and oral labia, but I digress).

As to long labia being ugly, that's just moronic. We've all heard the maxim that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. To some ethnic groups long labia is seen a sign of beauty and some women even stretch their labia. Over time it can make them permanently longer (e.g. the Khoisan culture). Women who have heavy jewelry in their labial piercings tend to have longer labia. My point here is that there is literally a whole world of ideas out there as to what is beautiful.

It is normal for one inner labia to be longer than the other, just as it is normal for one testicle to hang lower than the other. The attitude of your "friends" makes me wonder if possibly they're trying to deflect insecurities about their possibly ugly scrotums ;-)

And in the end doesn't it come down to that, what is in the head and heart is infinitely more important than what's between the legs.

Take care of your body, like yourself, love others, and it will all work out splendidly. Take care.

Riss said:

I used to have a hangup about my protruding lips. I used to joke with my hubby that if a stiff wind blew between my legs, I could take off, LOL. He told me that I am perfect, sexy and beautiful and that it gives him a little extra to feast on (Bon Appetite). NEVER let somebody else tell you how to feel about or see your body. Your opinion of yourself is the only one that counts.

on a side note: I like to watch porn with my hubby and I like the older movies as they have a more realistic vision of women as opposed to the clones they pass off as sexy today.

said:

these men need to be more worried about the size of there penises, really!

Tom said:

I really do not think women have to worry about this at all. I am a man in my 30s and have lived among mostly men my entire life (all-boys schools, military, men's dorms, mostly male profession) and I have to say I have NEVER heard men comment on this issue or describe a girl's labia or vulva as "ugly."

I am sure there are some jerks out there like this but they are very much the rare exception. Real men don't care - women are beautiful to us in every way!

Believe me, with all the things to worry about in life, this is not one of them.

Mac said:

Wow - it's the new absolutism. Now there are no "ugly" pussies in the same way there are no "small" cocks. Got it. Do we still do obsequiousness, guys?

Whether I find a pussy attractive or not is largely a function of my attraction to the person appended to it and her abilities with same, much as any woman will find my cock satisfactory or not depending on how she feels about the rest of me and what I do inside her.

The pretty pussy is the one I'm into. All others I reserve the right to find ugly. Give me complete presence, a bit of flush, yielding, endurance, and a viscous slick with a fecund scent, and your labia can go to your knees.

With any partner what any part of either of us looks like (and notice the implied simile here - it's a hilarious cultural moment in which we live that porn should have become the de facto arbiter of erotic allure) could not be less relevant to the moment in which we find our slithery bits engaged. By that point we've already made a declaration to each other concerning matters of attractiveness.

As far as pussioplasty is concerned, like titustry it's a porn spinoff.

Autumn Seave said:

I don't have a lot to add. I just want to say that this was a beautifully written piece and well done.

And to all the ladies and men that commented it is wonderful to see that there are lots of people who are not so superficial.

And to Jay (who likely doens't even have the guts to come back and see what others said) - I hope that some day you grow up and realize that beauty has nothing to do with great sex. Unless you're a superficial ass. In which case, good luck in finding perfection - it doesn't exist except in those who have been chosen to be made of plastic.

said:

Sorry to break up this orgy of self-satisfaction, ladies, but claiming there is no such thing as an ugly vagina is flat out idiotic. People, being sexual creatures, will always be, as a matter of -fact-, held to an aesthetic standard. Both sexes so long as there is attraction will rank the opposite in terms of their beauty and attractiveness.

Anyone claiming that -all- people are beautiful misses the point. Yes, if you work hard enough, you can find something in everyone that is beautiful. The same is true for just about any quality you can think of. We're all humanists, I presume, if we're in agreement that there is beauty to be had everywhere. However this isn't what we're talking about; we're talking about sexual attraction. If you have to work to find something attractive about someone, lets face it - they're not good looking.

The exact same thing holds true of your crotches, ladies. Your vaginas are held to an aesthetic standard just like the rest of you is. Just like males are, and just like a guy's penis is. It may be true that women on the whole are more willing to modify their aesthetic sense when they get to know a guy they find pleasing, but this is either here nor there. The fact is, at base, -all- people hold the opposite sex to an aesthetic standard. This includes their crotches.

Sorry to burst any bubbles, but there are ugly vaginas. I've seen them, you've seen them, and there's no denying it. We're not passing judgments on the lady to which it is attached, it isn't a big deal, and it shouldn't change anything. But it's still ugly.

Beautiful and proud said:

O.k. to whoever posted this comment above me about the fact that everyone is held to a certain standard is an idiot! Ladies any of you who have longer lips please do not worry about them!
I am speaking as someone who Has modeled and has big lips. I have had no plastic sx and everyone who is conidering it please think twice you probaby wont love yourself any more. Follow the sound advice of Em and Lo. love yourself for who you are!
Anyways I got sidetracked the guy above who wouldn't even give an alias to refer to im sure has some Major self esteem issues of his own! With the fact that my body fits the type of standard that 99.9% of people cant (and shouldn't try to)live up to, I can say that ANYONE who would hold you to some crazy standard and not love you for who you are is not worthy of your time! Please repeat that to yourself! You dont have to be 100lb and 6' tall and have a perfect porno vagina to be beautiful. I see alot of women everyday that I think are absolutly beautiful, and they are not 100lb and 6'tall! I have never had anyone say anything negitave about my big lips. On top of that I have a very close older male friend that I actually had this descussion with becouse I had herd a stupid derrogitory comment about big lips and asked him. he actually prefers them and absolutly gets more turned on by a woman that has them! (the person who made the comment was a stupid drunk frat boy)
I guess to wrap it up women its our confidance in ourselves that makes us beautiful not our size(of anything) Love yourself more than anything!
And to the idiot above if you are ever in atlanta and see a 6' tall 120lb brunette with silky hair to her ass and leggs to her neck run in the other direction I want nothing to do with you! AND GROW UP

alliterative red said:

Regarding aesthetics: Everyone has their own opinion of "pretty" and "ugly." Not everyone likes redheads with green eyes, for instance. Doesn't make them ugly, just makes them "not your type." Disappointing, yes. A reason to dye one's hair & get tinted contacts... not necessarily.
If you find yourself surrounded by people who think you need to change your appearance, start by changing who you're seen with. If that doesn't work... then maybe it is you....

Regarding physical changes: Having children can change the way your labia look. Especially if the labor is long, or there are complications. That doesn't make your vagina ugly. It just means you had a child or two. If he doesn't like one fact, chances are he won't like the other one, either.

Blue2k7 said:

i dont think ugly vaginas exist, every one ive seen is beautiful in different ways

Lady Johanna said:

I didn't know vaginas looked different before the first time I made love to a woman and discovered she looked different than me. I've since been sexual with a large number of women and have never yet found an ugly vagina.

The Vagina Coloring Book is a lovely book that celebrates the variety of beauty in women's genitals.

Oh, and to the commenter that thinks "wear and tear" effects a vagina...

d00d, look at your cock. Now look at a baby's head, which the vagina is *built* to accommodate. How much do you think your cock is gonna cause "wear and tear?"

Get some freaking perspective, alright?

breve said:

Good God! Just one more thing to make women feel uptight and self-conscious!!!

First of all the vagina does go through some changes....inner labia do become more pronounced and darker after childbirth, but they are still just as pleasurable and beautiful....

Milliscent said:

Anyone who thinks that your cunt is 'ugly' is not a person whom you should be spending your erotic time with.

I'll say the same for the men out there. If the woman in your life thinks that your cock is 'ugly' then perhaps you should rethink having her as the woman in your life.

CM Bailey said:

My wife's vagina is tiny, 'neat,' and quite wonderful to me. My girlfriends vagina is very much the opposite with beautiful inner labia provocatively exposed, and also quite wonderful to me.

I have to think that anyone who would think a lovers vagina ugly is perhaps with the wrong lover, or perhaps carrying the art of criticism to the point of a character flaw.

Captivated said:

Great article, and amazing comments.

So many of us suffer immeasurably with low self love and acceptance. My own first marriage I had the dream figure, My spouse would beat himself off night after night while he gazed at my body, hardly would he touch because he was so used to beating off with porn.

Three years later with our firstborn on the way he stated that at 4 months along that he no longer found me attractive.

He was so jealous that he couldn't stand to see the baby nursing because "those were his breasts after all" until I gave it up just after five weeks. I stayed in that relationship for 33 years and I was worn out.

Master Samahdi and I found each other, and in him I found the loving acceptance and appreciation. He yreats me like I am a prize and I think he is a prince.

Joan Price said:

Oh, my goodness. I'm about to turn 65, and though I spent years obsessing about my buttocks, belly and breasts (finally giving all that up in favor of thoroughly enjoying my body and its sensuality), it never occurred to me to be self-conscious about my -- I just discovered -- wildly imperfect labia. Great post, Em & Lo, and fascinating reader comments. I'm going to discuss this on my blog and refer my readers here.

Joan Price

author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (http://www.joanprice.com/BetterThanExpected.htm)

Join us -- we're talking about ageless sexuality at http://www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com

johndevil said:

Oh dear. Many men, I suspect most, love beautiful full lipped vaginas. Don't believe all you hear from lager louts and children who post on the web. Many poor girls have their breasts mutilated because they are persuaded by the producers of girlie magazines that that is what is required. The market for these mags is 15yr olds who have probably never been with a women. Be proud and beautiful.
Also female circumcision is still practised in some barbaric parts of the world. This is all part of the plot to subjugate women by depriving them of their femininity and making them feel inferior. Sock it to them girl. JD

anathema said:

While I'd agree that not all humans are equally lovely (duh), I'd also say that which parts of the body we use to assess attractiveness are, to my prior knowledge, relatively standard. Facial features, weight, etc. I have never heard of someone having "ugly elbows" or "ugly earlobes," and I would have put pussy in that same category. It just is--unlike (for better or worse) facial symmetry.

That said, years ago I worked in the sex industry. There was one woman at the club where I worked who'd had labiaplasty. Everyone, men and women, who knew about it felt sorry for her, and felt that this was yet another sign of her unbalanced personality (there were many more, I'm not making a psychiatric assessment based on lip-insecurity!) I never heard a customer say, "Wow her inner lips are pretty," or, of any of the rest of us, "Man, those are ugly lips. Ya think you could do something about those?" And this in an industry where being pretty is pretty much all anyone is expected to bring to the table.

Kona said:

Also, there are a ton of men out there who think this is the " Sexiest vagina" My first girlfrind had nice inner lips and I loved it.

Appreciative male said:

I am 62 years old and I have to say I have never seen an ugly cunt. Sometimes the folds are a little different but each one is a pleasure box.

Molly Ren said:

This talk of "ugly" and "attractive" vaginas is so odd to me. To me, they all still look like oysters.

said:

Am male and have for more years than I like to think about, been a consumer of porn. I've done military service and the regular separation from loved ones in all-male company means that either total-celibacy, masturbation or homosexuality are the three options for sex. Well, I'm straight and faithful and have no wish to go without sexual pleasure. Porn is a good let-out for this situation.
During all the years of looking at the various magazines and with the advent of the 'net and the option of saving the images for later consumption, I have seen countless images of vaginas. To me it has taught that there is countless variety of vaginas just as there is countless variety in body shapes and faces. It never occurred to me to regard any labial shape as ugly or beautiful - they're just the way they are. When a guy manages to get away from the porn (in a foreign or home port) and in the company of a woman who wants to be in bed with him, then he isn't going to be bothered about what her labia look like. He is just going to thank his lucky stars or God that he has got that situation - that is, if he even thinks about it at this stage. He is going to go to bed with her and enjoy himself, hopefully with the lady in question also enjoying herself.

To "Ugly" Betty: No guy who is more than 14 years old (maturity level here) is going to complain that your lips are ugly...... If some guy, no matter what his physical age, tells you something like that; I recommend that you kick him out of bed and he goes without

hoodie said:

I like all vulvas -- big or small inner lips, big or small outer lips. (Though I have a THING for puffy labia majora that's entirely related to a specific lover...)

But while I would condemn these knucklehead guys who go on about "ugly vulvas", I have to mention that a LOT of women make similar aesthetic judgements on dicks relating to size or (in my case) the presence of a foreskin. Just as those women shouldn't have to undergo surgery on their labia, I don't want to have to undergo surgery on my prepuce just to have a "pretty penis". Ya know?

aclear said:

To me vagina is not a big issue.If you really love the woman vagina thing does not matter.

loola said:

Like most people I was horrified to learn that even vaginae had been measured and inspected, put up for judgment by some (probably male founded) institute, but this article ended up becoming more enlightening and comforting thanks to em & lo & all the folks out there.

I just have to respond to the guy who makes a fine point mentioning innate aesthetic standards:

we should realize that as we grow up and are nurtured by our environments that we become programmed to instantly respond to things either positively or negatively, the greatest purpose of having a discussion like this is to realize that yes it might initially strike true for some that a neat smaller inner labia is visually more appealing than an asymmetrical protruding one. Ultimately No one is really sure where that reflex-thinking comes from or exactly what this conditioning is, so its up to us to challenge ourselves to replace and update all our ideas, beliefs, and our standards to allow a sort of fulfilling , "self-satisfied", continuous evolution. That's how changing the world for the better happens.

Oswald said:

Ugly Vagina? It's an Oxymoron. And getting your lips shortened would be like having penis reduction surgery -- those luscious lips are flaps of shaft-massaging ecstasy.

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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

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