Every now and then we come across something online so very wrong that we wonder if the Internet isn't such a great thing after all. Two girls, one cup, say...OR a self-published (natch) collection of semen-based recipes, just in time for Thanksgiving. Spunky candied pecans, anyone? According to the author, Fotie Photenhauer--a grownup version, one would imagine, of that little twerp in 10th grade who claimed that his semen would cure your acne--"Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants." In theory, it shouldn't be any grosser than, say, eating a calf's liver, but in practice? We're going to put it in our "Tom Cruise eating his baby's placenta" file. And yes, before you ask, we are indeed two uptight biotches with no sense of humor.



Is this real? I thought it was a joke, but who would take the time to write that many fake comments just for a good laugh?

Em & Lo said:

Yeah, that was our dilemma, too.. the comments all *seem* a little fake, but wouldn't you have to be just a little bit insane to make up *that many* fake comments?! Then again, we're talking about someone who claims to cook with semen here...

Marcus said:

Wow, I'd never want to get blown by one of you two, you gals may be sex-positive, but you're semen negative >:(

It's real. I've seen links like this before, the people who take it seriously are mostly gay men, but as taboo as it is, women with semen fetishes also exist and seeing the heteronormative hammer come down inexplicably in the middle of an otherwise open-minded blog is kind of jarring.

Then again, I went vegetarian for a while just to make my cum taste better, so I probably shouldn't take this so seriously.


It's not the book so much that seems crazy, but the a majority of the comments. Of course there are men who enjoy their own semen, and people of both genders with semen fetishes. I don't think that Em&Lo were ignoring this, or invalidating it, or dissing it, but were rather reacting (as I am) to the men who have commented on the book saying that they've been slipping their cum into their friends' food for years, that they feed it to their children, and one very specific comment that said something about making a milkshake for his kids with "rancid" semen that his wife had left out of the fridge, and how the kids said it smelled a bit musky, and tastes terrible, so the man's dad cake over and "squirted some crash strings of cock slime" over the top, and how the kids then ate it right up. There are countless comments on this book of that nature. I mean, REALLY?

Em&Lo are extremely openminded people, as am I. I do completely believe that you, Marcus, are misreading their reactions.

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Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.

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