|
||||||
   
|
|
 There's a blog post on MomLogic.com this week about sanctioned extramarital handjobs, titled "I Told My Husband to Get a 'Happy Ending.'" The subtitle tells you all you need to know: "I don't consider it cheating--and when he finally got his 'massage,' I was happy for him!" Big whoop, right? It was her idea, he enjoyed it, and it made her happy that he enjoyed it. Yay for making up your own rules when it comes to long-term monogamy! She's not exactly the first woman to give her man this kind of permission slip, and she's certainly not the first to write about it either--even two relative prudes like us wrote about considering the same thing back in 2005. (Our guys never took us up on the offer, so we never got to find out if we could be as open-minded in practice as in theory.) No, the real shocker is in the feedback section at the bottom of the page. The readers are PISSED OFF! Now, maybe this is what you get for blogging about handjobs on a site that is more likely to feature stories about Halloween costumes for kids or whether Bachelorette Trista's second pregnancy is high-risk. But still. After the jump, a random sampling of the vitriol:
Sure, a handful of readers defended the blogger's right to define marriage on her own terms, but the overwhelming majority let out a resounding "ewwwwww." (At least one commenter actually used the "ew" word.) Um, did they miss the part where she said "I've never trusted my husband more." Did they miss the part where it was her idea? Did they miss the part where she and her husand mutually agreed that this would be a good thing? Did they miss the part where he called her up to tell her about it? Did they miss the part where this couple has an amazing relationship and can say anything to each other and are working really hard to keep each other happy? It sounds like a happy, loving, honest, faithful marriage to us. And it sounds a million times better than the kind of relationship where it's your "job" to keep the handjobs coming and "good morals" come with a smiley-face emoticon. Even better, how about the kind of marriage where you both get a sanctioned happy ending...? 6 CommentsLeave a comment |
|
![[Body By Glamour ad]](https://dailybedpost.com/ads/bbg-fall-275x225.gif)
 
Em & Lo, more formally known as Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey, are
the self-proclaimed Emily Posts of the modern bedroom.
Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New
York City.
Check out Daily Bedpost on MySpace.com.
|
||
FEED ME
Maybe it works for her, but I know in my relationship, I wouldn't like that at all. To many doubts would begin to cross my mind like, "What if she was hotter than me, or better at it." I don't think I could trust him as much, even if I had encouraged it.
I would rather enjoy spending time with my partner and giving him his own happy ending, rather than leave it in someone else's hands (no pun intended). Besides, I'd rather be there to get my own special ending myself.
Sometime before the heat death of the universe this may get resolved, but I'd hate to bet real money on it. I will bet (sucker bet...I've seen the sites) that a search will turn up arguments that using prostitutes is infidelity, that watching porn is the moral equivalent of prostitution and so is also infidelity, and (equally plausible but maybe not currently under discussion) that thinking about the images one has seen in a pornographic movie and getting excited about them is the same as pornography and is therefore also infidelity.
Every(female)body, cut us some slack. I am as boringly vanilla monogamous as a male human being can be but a doctor correctly diagnosed a tumor-induced [benign, thank you] hormone problem when I told him I wasn't fantasizing about women I saw walking down the street. You like male human beings, you have to take the whole package. As Jessica Rabbit told you, "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
Might be nit-picky, but I do that well. Though I'm happy that these days there seems to be a bigger distinction between sensual "massage" and Massage Therapy because I myself am a massage therapist, I have a tough time when anyone calls it a massage when they get a "happy ending." It's crossing a line of professionalism that massage therapists honor and work hard to delineate. It's prostitution, plain and simple--which I'm not judging because I fully support legal protections for sex workers--but the distinction must be made.
Lighten up! Monogamy is a man-made construct. Yes, it works for some relationships, and I would never deny any human being the right to choose monogamy. However, a monogamous couple should not feel that they have the right to tell any non-monagamous couple that what they do is "wrong". I don't think monogamy is "wrong", I just think it's wierd.
After struggling with issues in our sex life for many, many years, my husband and I decided (at MY urging) to open our relationship. Honestly, we're happier than we've ever been.
This lifestyle is not appropriate for everyone, but NOTHING in the world is appropriate for everyone, with the possible exceptions of air and water. Many people are very quick to judge something as wrong that they see as different from what they choose, or what their school or church taught them. If we'd learn to be accepting of people's RIGHT to make their own choices for their own lives (but never choices for anyone but themselves), such judgements wouldn't occur.
Sorry for the ramble.
We think there is far to much fuss about this. Too many confuse love with sex and sex with love. If they are both in agreement and no one is getting hurt then we see no problem. Welcome to the 21st century
I have to say bravo to the woman a MomLogic who posted that because to post something like that on such a mainstream blog takes real guts. To pull back the blinds and say, this is what we've done and I'm proud of it...well, she is a real woman.
I'm going to stop by and tell her so.